


come (a little) closer

by NotAStan



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Daddy Kink, Gay, Jeon Jungkook is a Little Shit, Kim Taehyung | V Is Whipped, Light Angst, M/M, Min Yoongi | Suga Is Whipped, Park Jimin Is a Sweetheart, chat fic, daegu boys are wildt, i love tae but bad things happen to him, kim namjoon might be a furry, kim seokjin did jail time bc nobody hurts his babies and gets away with it, lots of cops, lots of daddy kinks lmao, mentions of jeon wonwoo, mentions of lee jihoon, min yoongi and jeon jungkook are partners in (minor) crime (literally), min yoongi and kim taehyung are daegu partners in crime (not literally), min yoongi is a troubled child, mingyu is becoming a full character now i have ideas ily, nobody can handle it, text fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2018-12-09 16:52:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 20,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11673204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotAStan/pseuds/NotAStan
Summary: come a little closer then you'll see, things aren't always what they seem to be//or that shitty chat fic where tae can't spell for the life of him, namjoon can't catch a break, yoongi is secretly a really good friend, and hoseok just wants to know how he ended up here





	1. everything's in order (in a black hole)

**Author's Note:**

> my first work posted on here.... this is the shitty beginning to a shitty fic that i already have a lot of written in sorry. there was no service in my math classroom last year and so this was born and has been added onto in my notes for months now.
> 
> titles will mainly be lyrics
> 
> come a little closer - cage the elephant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fluorescent adoscelent -- arctic monkeys

**[Kim Seokjin created the chat "watch ur back hoes"]**  
**[Kim Seokjin added Min Yoongi to "watch ur back hoes"]**  
**[Kim Seokjin added Kim Namjoon to "watch ur back hoes"]**  
**[Kim Seokjin added Kim Taehyung to "watch ur back hoes"]**  
**[Kim Seokjin added Park Jimin to "watch ur back hoes"]**  
**[Kim Seokjin added Jeon Jungkook to "watch ur back hoes"]**

**[Kim Seokjin changed his name to angry hoe]**

**[Kim Taehyung changed his name to Taetertot]**

**Taetertot:** jin why ar u angry 

**angry hoe:** shut the fuck up taehyung 

**[Park Jimin changed his name to MinMin]**

**MinMin:** Jinnie are you okay? Why are you being mean to TaeTae? 

**angry hoe:** i'm waiting until these other fuckers get here so i can interrogate all you nasty fucks 

**angry hoe:** and yes that means you too jimin you're sweet and all but you're also a nasty hoe at times don't deny 

**MinMin:** Okay, true. 

**[Kim Namjoon changed his name to real father]**

**[TaeterTot changed real father's name to Daddy]**

**Daddy:** taehyung why 

**Taetertot:** bc ur my daddy mwah luv u daddy 

**Daddy:** what the fuck 

**[Min Yoongi changed his name to shut the fuck up]**

**shut the fuck up:** what do you want 

**MinMin:** Hiii hyungie!! 

**[shut the fuck up changed his name to fuck everyone except jimin]**

**[MinMin changed fuck everyone except jimin's name to sleepy hyungie]**

**sleepy hyungie:** alright 

**angry hoe:** shut the fuck up 

**[Jeon Jungkook changed his name to golden boi]**

**[angry hoe changed golden boi's name to ugly child]**

**ugly child:** jin what the fuck 

**angry hoe:** watch your fucking language and im your fucking elder you disrespectful brat 

**angry hoe:** now that all you nasty fuckers are here 

**angry hoe:** who the fuck had a hookup on my couch 

**angry hoe:** and also didn't clean it up 

**Taetertot:** now that's totlly sumthing id do but liek 

**Taetertot:** not me this time genie 

**MinMin:** "this time" Tae you're nasty. 

**Daddy:** babe you know it wasn't me we haven't fucked on your couch in a couple weeks 

**sleepy hyungie:** couple weeks? we have movie night on that thing what the hell 

**sleepy hyungie:** do none of you know the concept of a fucking bed i didn't think it was that difficult to understand 

**sleepy hyungie:** and you're questioning jiminie too? like that kid is pure sunshine i don't think he knows what sex is 

**Taetertot:** boi u haven't walked in when some guy cals him daddy fr when jimins fucking him aganst the wall 

**Daddy:** or accidentally gotten the sexts he's trying to send that talk about blindfolding and gagging the poor boy and teasing him until he cries 

**MinMin:** Gosh, stop exposing me! 

**sleepy hyungie:** i have to go 

**Taetertot:** ur welcom hyung ;))) 

**angry hoe:** jungkook? 

**ugly child:** oh yeah it was me lol 

**ugly child:** ur apartment was way closer than my dorm 

**angry hoe:** you fucking nasty ass piece of shit did you really think i'd be fine with this and clean it all up and not mind what the actual hell were you thinking i fucking hate you go die in a ditch please and save us all the effort you're no child of mine 

**[angry hoe changed ugly child's name to dead to me]**

**dead to me:** i left two ribeye steaks in your fridge for you and namjoon 

**[angry hoe changed dead to me's name to favorite child]**

**[angry hoe changed his name to happy eomma]**

**happy eomma:** aw there's my favorite child look at you you're so cute so pure i love you so much 

**favorite child:** :) 


	2. come hang out (cause you're out of your mind)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've spent the last two hours trying to format these two tiny chapters on my phone and i want to die it's 3 am but here's more shit
> 
> it gets better as it goes on i promise
> 
> come hang out -- ajr

**[Taetertot changed the group name to I AM DISTRESSED]**

**Taetertot:** GUYS HEP 

**Taetertot:** HELP ME FUKC 

**happy eomma:** what 

**Taetertot:** MOM YES MOM HEPL ME 

**Taetertot:** IM IN LO VE 

**Daddy:** what 

**MinMin:** With who???? 

**favorite child:** it's probably on some random stranger this bitch is so thirsty have u seen him 

**Taetertot:** THSI GUY CAME IN TO GIVE PROF A NOTE FROM ADMIN OR SMTHING IDK AND 

**Taetertot:** HE WAS SO BEUATIFUL IM CR YI NG 

**sleepy hyungie:** he really is he came into the studio and his head is on my lap 

**sleepy hyungie:** remove this child there's snot and tears everywhere i'm going to kill him 

**MinMin:** I'll come get him hyungie! 

**happy eomma:** What'd he look like why are you crying 

**Taetertot:** HE WAS TALL W BROWN HAIR OH MY GOD HE WORE A SLEVLESS SHIRT HIS MUSCLES OHM Y GOD HIS JAWLINE H IS S MIL E 

**Taetertot:** IT WAS SO BRIGHT SO BUEATIFULL IMMA SLUT DROP 

**happy eomma:** do it taetae make momma proud 

**sleepy hyungie:** he literally stood up with tears streaming down his face and fucking slut dropped im not okay 

**Taetertot:** HE HAD A LITTLE FLUFFY RABIT ON HIS KEEYCHAN 

**favorite child:** lol 

**favorite child:** wait was the rabbit pink 

**Taetertot:** YES 

**favorite child:** lol 

**MinMin:** Wait... 

**MinMin:** Does that mean??? 

**favorite child:** who else has a pink rabbit on their keychain 

**MinMin:** Oh my god. 

**Daddy:** i'm confused 

**favorite child:** hey tae can u come down to the practice room 

**favorite child:** rather than crying on yoongi in public come dance girl groups with me 

**Taetertot:** OKAY JUNGKOKIE 

**Daddy:** caps tae 

**Taetertot:** sorry daddy 

**MinMin:** I'm on my way with him. 

**MinMin:** Off topic, but is Hoseokie hyung around? 

**favorite child:** lol 

**favorite child:** yeah 

**happy eomma:** i was gone for like ten minutes what the fuck 

**Daddy:** i'm so lost 

**sleepy hyungie:** shut the fuck up the notifications keep coming up on the computer i'm trying to work 


	3. i'm weird (and i hope that he likes it)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm weird -- ghost town

**[Taetertot changed the group name to FUCK MY LIFE]**

**Taetertot:** GUYSS THEY TRICKD MEE 

**Taetertot:** H ES HERE HES SO HOT GOD FUCCC 

**Taetertot:** HIS NAME IS HOSEOK AD ITS SO CUTE 

**happy eomma:** wow they really are fucking with him 

**sleepy hyungie:** wait jung hoseok 

**sleepy hyungie:** i really wasn't thinking about him he's in my composition class 

**Daddy:** guys is tae dead 

**MinMin:** He's all but shaking in the corner 

**MinMin:** Good news, Hoseokie thinks Tae's cute 

**favorite child:** like really cute 

**favorite child:** nevermind tae bit his lip and hoseok is about to cry 

**MinMin:** Wait no, how are we going to deal with two crying kids 

**favorite child:** fuck it lol 

**[favorite child added Jung Hoseok to FUCK MY LIFE]**

**favorite child:** welcome dance hyung 

**MinMin:** Hiiii Hoseokie hyung 

**sleepy hyungie:** hey seok 

**[Jung Hoseok changed his name to hobihobi]**

**hobihobi:** oh wow new group chat 

**hobihobi:** who are you people 

**hobihobi:** is MinMin jimin?? 

**MinMin:** Yes!!! 

**favorite child:** im ur favorite freshman 

**hobihobi:** yugyeom? 

**favorite child:** fuck you 

**hobihobi:** i love you too jungkookie 

**sleepy hyungie:** yoongi 

**happy eomma:** hello i'm jin 

**Daddy:** and i'm namjoon 

**hobihobi:** hiiiii 

**happy eomma:** joon do u think tae is crying yet 

**Daddy:** he's probably fucking sobbing 

**sleepy hyungie:** why does he always run to the studio to cry on me what the fuck jin come take your kid 

**Taetertot:** WHATTS TGE FUCKNM 

**favorite child:** he's alive wow 

**Taetertot:** HOW COOLD YOU DO THIS TO ME 

**[Taetertot changed favorite child's name to eat ass]**

**eat ass:** where's the lie lol 

**happy eomma:** ur like five shut ur inexperienced annoying ass up 

**[Daddy changed happy eomma's name to hot momma]**

**hot momma:** ur sleeping on the couch tonight 

**Daddy:** wait no 

**sleepy hyungie:** again someone come and get this fucking kid off of me 

**MinMin:** I'm on my way back hyungie 

**Taetertot:** IM IN SO MUC PAIN 

**eat ass:** will he ever type a normal sentence who knows 

**hobihobi:** im very confused???? 

**hot momma:** that's just taehyung yes he's always like this you get used to it 

**Daddy:** when you meet him in person everyone wants to fuck him without fail until they start texting him and he types like that 

**Taetertot:** awww daddy i would hav fuckd u too 

**hot momma:** jump off a bridge 

**Daddy:** why is daddy a thing why do you hurt me this way 

**Taetertot:** don't u know all daegu boys hav daddy kinks 

**[eat ass changed the chat name to daegu daddys]**

**sleepy hyungie:** daddy is right joonie 

**Taetertot:** aww baby boy ur cute 

**sleepy hyungie:** anything for u daddy

 **hot momma:** jimin how u feel about this

**MinMin:** about what lol 

**eat ass:** he said lol that's a sign he never says that 

**hot momma:** about yoongi calling tae daddy 

**MinMin:** what does that have to do with me 

**Daddy:** he's not using capitals or punctuation guys 

**MinMin:** im fine 

**eat ass:** he's not fine 

**Taetertot:** donr wory minnie in not taking ur man 

**MinMin:** he's not my man 

**sleepy hyungie:** fuck u all i'm finding a new daddy 

**hobihobi:** yoongs i can be ur daddy 

**Taetertot:** fuKC I FORGOT HE WAS HEER 

**sleepy hyungie:** he's crying again oh god why did i ever call this boy daddy 

**hobihobi:** im sorry????? i didn't know i was doing anything wrong 

**hot momma:** ur not 

**Taetertot:** daddy luvs u yoongles but he doesn't like it when his baby boy swears 

**sleepy hyungie:** sorry daddy love you too 

**Taetertot:** <3 

**sleepy hyungie:** <3 


	4. (all these demons) they keep me up all night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> up all night -- blink-182

**Daddy:** if we breath air but we can't see it 

**Daddy:** can fish see water 

**hobihobi:** holy shit 

**sleepy hyungie:** wow 

**Daddy:** i never thought yoongi would agree with me but it's such a valid point 

**sleepy hyungie:** no 

**sleepy hyungie:** i'm astounded by the overwhelming urge that i have right now to punch you in your fucking face 

**sleepy hyungie:** it's fucking 3 in the morning 

**sleepy hyungie:** you need to actually shut the hell up right now and let me sleep 

**[hobihobi changed sleepy hyungie's name to straight savage]**

**[straight savage changed his name to gay savage]**

**hot momma:** i'm glad i slept through this 

**Taetertot:** was joonie having anoher late nihgt crisis again? 

**eat ass:** shut up its 5am 

**Taetertot:** how abot u listen to ur name pleb 

**eat ass:** you just said pleb 

**eat ass:** never talk to me again 

**gay savage:** both of you never talk to me again it's early 

**MinMin:** hyungie 

**MinMin:** you're always so sleepy and soft so cute 

**[MinMin changed gay savage's name to cutie hyungie]**

**Taetertot:** he's delirious he was pullinf an all nighter agian for a lit esay 

**[Taetertot changed cutie hyungie's name to sleepy hyungie]**

**Taetertot:** gotta do my bro a solid bb 

**eat ass:** always thought u were fake af but u a true hoe 

**Taetertot:** should i be offend 

**eat ass:** idk 

**Taetertot:** k 

**Taetertot:** i think i herd yooni hynug screem im going bavk to sleep 

**hobihobi:** what did i get into with this chat 

**[hobihobi has changed the chat name to I Have Regrets™]**


	5. they say we ain't got the style (we ain't got the class)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in one ear -- cage the elephant
> 
> only one more chapter until the "kim namjoon might be a furry" tag comes into play and only two more until the light angst
> 
> please leave me comments i need attention and support

**hobihobi:** jinnie i left my key in your apartment 

**hot momma:** i know i'm on my way with it 

**hobihobi:** my savior 

**Daddy:** when was hobi over 

**Daddy:** i've been here all day 

**hot momma:** when you were asleep and showering we were cooking 

**hobihobi:** try the japchae 

**Daddy:** holy shit 

**Daddy:** i would actually kill someone in order to eat this 

**Daddy:** hobi how 

**hobihobi:** i like cooking 

**sleepy hyungie:** wait japchae 

**sleepy hyungie:** and i wasn't invited 

**hot momma:** i have extra for you yoongi 

**sleepy hyungie:** i'm on my way 

**hot momma:** doors open 

**Daddy:** join me yoongi 

**Daddy:** holy shit i think he's running up the stairs right now?? 

**Daddy:** thE DOOR SLAMMED OPEN 

**Daddy:** HES HERE 

**Daddy:** HE HAS RISEN 

**eat ass:** holy shit 

**MinMin:** Okay, but same 

**Taetertot:** i want japece 

**hobihobi:** i have some for you 

**Taetertot:** on my wya 

**MinMin:** Wait I want some 

**Taetertot:** fukc off 

**sleepy hyungie:** come here minnie 

**MinMin:** <333 

**eat ass:** gay 

**hot momma:** you're literally gay too jungkook 

**eat ass:** your point? 

**hot momma:** get ur disrespectful ass over here so i can beat it 

**eat ass:** keep your kinks to the bedroom those are only for joon 

**Daddy:** what the fuck 

**Daddy:** yoongi and jimin are inhaling all the food 

**Daddy:** they're gonna eat the utensils on accident 

**Daddy:** what the fuck this is weird 

**Daddy:** h o w 

**hot momma:** run for your life jungkook 


	6. things aren't always what they seem to be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is the first of the three chapters (so far) that i have that are the reason why i picked this specific song to name the story after
> 
> next chapter will probably go up in a couple hours, it gets into the tag about jin's jail time, more minor crime, angst, and min yoongi being a (lovable) troubled child
> 
> comments will be loved and replied to please give me attention
> 
> come a little closer -- cage the elephant

**Taetertot:** u kno how some people will like dress up in animal costumes to have sex 

**eat ass:** r u talking about furries why 

**Taetertot:** ya 

**Taetertot:** i feel like that's namjoon tbh 

**eat ass:** what the fuck 

**sleepy hyungie:** holy shit 

**sleepy hyungie:** bet he fucking is 

**Daddy:** what the fuck 

**Daddy:** n o 

**hobihobi:** wait what 

**hobihobi:** don't tell me i'm friends with a furry 

**MinMin:** Is that why Jinnie hyung calls him kitten?? 

**Daddy:** wait no 

**sleepyhyungie:** WHAT 

**eat ass:** NAMJOON IS A SUB 

**Taetertot:** PLOT TWIST 

**Daddy:** jin help me 

**eat ass:** does this mean that jin is the daddy 

**sleepy hyungie:** MY ENTIRE LIFE IS A LIE 

**hobihobi:** but like namjoon is so 

**hobihobi:** masculine 

**Taetertot:** an iv seen jinnie clean in a pink made outfit of his own free will 

**hobihobi:** namjoon like... his face... his hands... his voice 

**hobihobi:** i thought he was dom 

**hobihobi:** but no he's a kitten 

**Daddy:** wait look okay 

**[Taetertot has changed Daddy's name to Kitten]**

**Kitten:** tae no 

**[sleepy hyungie has changed hot momma's name to Daddy <3]**

**Kitten:** yoongi please 

**Taetertot:** good temwork bb  <3 

**sleepy hyungie:** i got you daddy  <3 

**Kitten:** stay out of my sex life 

**Daddy <3:** joonie looks so cute with kitten ears 

**Daddy <3:** i'll come home and he'll be waiting patiently to see if i decide if he was a good boy or not 

**Daddy <3:** he likes his punishments a little too much 

**eat ass:** w h a t 

**sleepy hyungie:** joon you little sub 

**Taetertot:** jin is a real dom shit man 

**MinMin:** Jin, please 

**Taetertot:** who would've thot 

**Kitten:** j i n 

**hobihobi:** i am shook to the highest degree 

**Kitten:** someone save me from this hell 

**Taetertot:** and to think i wold have let joon pound my ass a coupel years ago 

**Taetertot:** instead he likes to be spanked and called a bad kitten 

**Taetertot:** imagine that two little subs freakking out naked tryin to figure out how to fuck ech other 

**eat ass:** tae would have started crying if he found out that joon was a sub in that kind of situation 

**Taetertot:** tru 

**MinMin:** We all know Tae likes to wear panties and thigh highs under his clothes, so like that and a kitten both just crying 

**hobihobi:** wait what 

**sleepy hyungie:** he likes to feel pretty 

**Taetertot:** respct the kink 

**Taetertot:** wait jin how us ur aftercare game 

**Daddy <3:** hella baths and food and massages and i wash him myself tell him how good he was for me and how much i love him 

**Taetertot:** that is one whole daddy what a good dom i approve 

**Daddy <3:** <3 

**Kitten:** i crave death 


	7. rude boys and punks will shout along, police cars bring cuffs and loaded guns (cause this is home)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aight so a couple things:
> 
> 1\. very slight trigger warning for this chapter, it's all only mentioned, doesn't really go into detail
> 
> 2\. this is the anticipated chapter that reveals the story behind the jin did jail time tag
> 
> 3\. also gets into the yoongos being a troubled child and yoongos and kooks being partners in crime (literally) tags
> 
> 4\. also i need to change the (not literally) from the tae and yoongos tag bc boi i got some ideas from this chapter if you're interested lmao
> 
> 5\. please please please tell me if you'd be intrested in a chapter or two with stories about yoongi's arrest record, or if you want actual one shots about some bc they're all for good reasons bc i'm a slut for yoongi happily facing charges and getting arrested if he gets caught if it's for a good reason
> 
> comments are more than welcome i rlly want love and attention
> 
> this is home -- blink-182

**Taetertot:** biTHC DO NOT PUT BANANANAS IN THE MICROWAVE 

**sleepy hyungie:** what the fuck taehyung 

**Taetertot:** THEY ARE VERRY FLAMMABLE 

**Taetertot:** I NEED A NEW MICROWAV 

**Kitten:** why would you do this 

**Taetertot:** science 

**MinMin:** Tae... 

**MinMin:** You messed up. 

**eat ass:** tae wtf 

**Taetertot:** look i didn't expct it to go poofy and fire to come out and eat evrything idk i thought it would melt or some shit 

**Daddy <3:** why the fuck would it melt 

**Taetertot:** look at the texture of a banananananna wouldn't u expct tht to turn gooy 

**sleepy hyungie:** i mean 

**sleepy hyungie:** he has a point 

**hobihobi:** but still why would you try that out 

**Taetertot:** i wanted to eat banananana goo 

**hobihobi:** warm banana goo 

**Taetertot:** warm banananaananan goo 

**Kitten:** why do i talk to you 

**Taetertot:** bc u thot i was hot and ig bc of the tall and tan skin thing u thot i was a dom who woold fuck ur little kitten ass into the sheets real good 

**Kitten:** time to jump off of a fucking bridge 

**Daddy <3:** don't drive my sweet little kitten into suicide please and thank you 

**MinMin:** This turned from burning bananas back to subjoon real quick 

**eat ass:** are u surprised 

**eat ass:** this chat is a fucking cesspool of banana goo and kitten subs and daddies let's start talking about taes sex life 

**Taetertot:** what sex life lol i haven't been with anyone since last time 

**sleepy hyungie:** you know we did good apparently he's still finding shards of glass in his clothes 

**Daddy <3:** he still has problems with his leg i love seeing him limp around campus 

**MinMin:** Only thing better than seeing him limp around campus, would not be seeing him at all 

**Taetertot:** my restraining order is getting finalized as we speak i love life 

**sleepy hyungie:** wait really 

**Taetertot:** i was dwn @ the courthose yesterday 

**MinMin:** That's amazing TaeTae!! 

**Kitten:** brb gonna bring flour to the culinary department and ""trip"" by him 

**Kitten:** where he @ 

**eat ass:** saw him sitting in the hall in the history wing like ten min ago 

**Daddy <3:** go get him baby <333 

**hobihobi:** ??????????? 

**hobihobi:** i am confused and concerned????? 

**sleepy hyungie:** remember that guy that i asked u to help me drop water balloons filled with piss on 

**hobihobi:** the guy you just said was fucked up? 

**sleepy hyungie:** yeah that's tae's ex 

**sleepy hyungie:** it's a long story 

**Taetertot:** boi oh boi 

**Taetertot:** sit ur cute little ass down ur gonna want to be seeted for this 

**Daddy <3:** tae you don't have to talk about it i know it's gotta be hard 

**Taetertot:** boi i still get nightmares 

**Taetertot:** if hobi is going to be one of us he neds to kno what hapened and why this guy gets terrorizd 

**MinMin:** Tae... 

**hobihobi:** you don't have to 

**Taetertot:** yea i do sit down an shut up 

**Taetertot:** aight so almost two years ago, i started daatiing this guy oliver right 

**Taetertot:** fast forward a year and were still together i sleep at his apartmeant most nights the whole shabang 

**Taetertot:** he starts to get angry at me for the tiniest things lik i forget to wash a fork for him to eat dinnr with and shit 

**Taetertot:** and he starts to get jelouus when i talk to other guys like id be in class chatting with one of these guys and hed text me to stay the fuck away from them 

**Taetertot:** that's actualy why he hit me for the first time tbh i was texting junggggukkie 

**eat ass:** wait what 

**eat ass:** holy shit no tae 

**eat ass:** im so sorry tae jesus christ 

**Taetertot:** ain't ur fault u big bunnie 

**Taetertot:** so as u can guess he starts abusing me 

**Taetertot:** not a lot but like he still did it some times idk 

**eat ass:** it is my fault though he wouldn't have hit you if i didn't text you 

**Taetertot:** no it still would have happened because of something else bun 

**Taetertot:** so yea that happened and i brok up w him like 6 months ago bc he kept hitting me and telling me not to talk to the guys 

**Taetertot:** i talked bak to him an he raped me 

**Taetertot:** :^) 

**sleepy hyungie:** fucker was only in jail for three months 

**sleepy hyungie:** didn't even get kicked out of the fucking school 

**Taetertot:** its becase im gay 

**Taetertot:** literaly 

**hobihobi:** holy fucking shit 

**hobihobi:** how is this guy still fucking alive 

**hobihobi:** im going to break his fucking legs 

**Daddy <3:** already did it 

**Daddy <3:** i spent four months in jail :^) 

**Daddy <3:** everyone's heard about it how haven't you 

**hobihobi:** god damn jin 

**sleepy hyungie:** i got fined for breaking and entering 

**sleepy hyungie:** hence the broken glass in his clothes and destroyed game collection 

**MinMin:** He "might" have been "accidentally" exposed to peanuts and had to go to the hospital, but that was just a mishap 

**Kitten:** someone "might" have set his textbooks on fire but that's up for debate 

**eat ass:** lmao i pissed on his bed and sent his nudes to his whole family 

**sleepy hyungie:** i took the fall for his breaking in since they had already caught me and the bunny still had his record clean somehow 

**eat ass:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**Taetertot:** :^) 

**Taetertot:** that all happened when i was still in the hospital otherwise i wouldn't have let them 

**Taetertot:** jin did JAIL TIME it's on his permamamnt record i didnt want that 

**Taetertot:** tbh yoongos fine is just another thing on a list lmao 

**Taetertot:** man we rlly got up 2 shit senor yr 

**sleepy hyungie:** what can i say i was a troubled child it's all behind me now 

**MinMin:** You broke into a bakery last week. 

**sleepy hyungie:** :^) 

**hobihobi:** man i can't believe jin of all people did jail time 

**Daddy <3:** nobody gets to fuck with my babies and leave unpunished 


	8. mr reckless (with a capital r)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> could it be??? a chapter without taehyung?? dw he'll be back tomorrow's update may not have a bunch of him but it will be rlly focused on him and why he is the way he is, i got my vmin and taegi platonic soulmate pairings i luv them
> 
> this is a chapter that rlly just kind of goes back into how yoongi is and his and jks friendship idk
> 
>  
> 
> pls give me comments and affection
> 
> ideas are very much appreciated im running out of prewritten chapters
> 
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
>  
> 
> reckless -- you me at six
> 
>  
> 
> edit:\\\\\ i accidentally named this chapter "me reckless (with a capital r)" and i'm sorry for everyone who had to witness that

**Daddy <3:** WAIT 

**Daddy <3:** YOONGI 

**sleepy hyungie:** yo 

**Daddy <3:** THAT WAS YOU? 

**sleepy hyungie:** you'll have to be a bit more specific 

**Daddy <3:** IT WAS YOU THAT BROKE INTO THE BAKERY AND FUCKED SHIT UP? 

**sleepy hyungie:** lmao yeah 

**eat ass:** he mentioned it like a week ago how did u not realize 

**Daddy <3:** i fucking love you sometimes yoongi 

**hobihobi:** what happened 

**Daddy <3:** i got fired from the bakery i worked at like two weeks ago all because i defended this poor woman who was being harassed bc it was "unprofessional" and "uncalled for" and i was a "liability" 

**Daddy <3:** a couple days later the bakery was broken into and a bunch of things destroyed yet they couldn't catch who did it 

**sleepy hyungie:** guk and i broke in and fucked shut up 

**sleepy hyungie:** i managed to get us both out the back window and far away before the cops showed 

**sleepy hyungie:** jiminnie only knows bc we hid out in his and taes dorm 

**Daddy <3:** jeongguk too?? 

**eat ass:** : yea 

**Daddy <3:** i fucking love you guys 

**hobihobi:** why can't i have friends like that god damn 

**sleepy hyungie:** what am i then 

**eat ass:** damn this whole time i thought we were friends 

**hobihobi:** correction: why couldn't i have friends like u a year ago when my old boss wouldn't even pay me minimum wage when i was his best instructor 

**sleepy hyungie:** where exactly did you work 

**eat ass:** looks like i have a visit to make 

**hobihobi:** :') 

**hobihobi:** i was a dance instructor at kim's a couple blocks from campus 

**eat ass:** brb 

**sleepy hyungie:** what he said 

**sleepy hyungie:** wait guk do you have the spray paint 

**eat ass:** yeah u got the bat? 

**sleepy hyungie:** yeah 

**Kitten:** sometimes i love our friends 

**MinMin:** Same 


	9. he needs a shelter from reality (he takes a dip in my daydreams)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm a slut for vhope
> 
> tae with the emt exam is pretty much me with the cna exam like i'm not ready i still have quite a while before it but
> 
> i still won't be ready
> 
> tae isn't okay and neither am i
> 
> tiny bit of insight in taegi friendship more comes next chapter i can't wait omg
> 
> but boi i'm just glad i was able to remember the muscles and their functions like for some reason all of my cna class forgot it except for like two of us boi i got a 98 on the final some of these bitches failed
> 
> anyways,,,,,,
> 
> pls leave me attention and love i need comments
> 
> give me ideas
> 
> i might do a couple one shots about yoongis other stuff on his record if you want idk they'll be story based and not text based most likely
> 
>  
> 
> arabella -- acrtic monkeys

**[sleepy hyungie changed his name to stressed™]**

**stressed™:** joon have you seen my flash drive?? 

**Kitten:** you used it in class 

**stressed™:** and now it's gone fuck my life 

**hobihobi:** the blue one? 

**stressed™:** yeah it has all my work on it 

**hobihobi:** i think i saw it still at one of the desks in the studio let me check 

**hobihobi:** yeah i have it where are you? 

**[stressed™ changed his name to blessed]**

**blessed:** campus coffee shop 

**hobihobi:** be there in five 

**Kitten:** TAEHYUNG 

**Taetertot:** helo namjoonie hyunng 

**Kitten:** for a muscle what's the ability to respond to a stimulus? 

**Taetertot:** excitability 

**blessed:** did joon move onto a medical class this time 

**Daddy <3:** yes and i don't think he's slept in days 

**Kitten:** HOW DO YOU DO THIS TAEHYUNG 

**Taetertot:** idk it's easi 

**Kitten:** THEY WANT ME TO REMEMBER THE TYPES OF MUSCLES AND THEIR FUNCTIONS 

**Taetertot:** Cardiac Muscle forms the walls of the heart and contracts to circulate blood Smooth (Visceral) Muscle makes up the internal organs such as respiratory and digestive systems and blood vessels and eyes Skeletal Muscle is attached to the bones and causes body movement 

**MinMin:** you go best friend that's my best friend 

**Taetertot:** going even farther Involuntary Muscles (include the cardiac and visceral muscles) functions without any obvious thought or control like breathing or your heart beating Voluntary Muscles are the skeletal muscles that give a person control over their actions 

**eat ass:** did tae just type with no mistakes 

**Daddy <3:** i forget how smart he is because of the way he types 

**hobihobi:** fuck 

**MinMin:** What's up Hoseokie hyung? 

**hobihobi:** that's so hot 

**hobihobi:** I MEAN 

**hobihobi:** LETS PRETEND THAT NEVER HAPPENED 

**Taetertot:** not the only hot thing in this chat 

**eat ass:** oh shit i'm out 

**blessed:** ^ 

**MinMin:** ^^ 

**Daddy <3:** ^^^ 

**Kitten:** ^^^^ 

**hobihobi:** im not trying to make fun of you or anything im actually lost here but was that directed at me 

**Taetertot:** yes 

**hobihobi:** fuuuuuuck 

**Taetertot:** im at the fountain in the middle of campus 

**hobihobi:** give me 2 minutes 

**Taetertot:** aren't you still at the cafe 

**hobihobi:** im runing can't ty p 

**[blessed changed Taetertot's name to smooth]**

**eat ass:** i never thought he'd make the first move 

**Daddy <3:** are they going to get together 

**blessed:** probably 

**Kitten:** finally tae deserves somebody good 

**MinMin:** But I'm worried 

**MinMin:** Tae rarely has time, he's always working, or in class, or trying to catch up on sleep, don't even get me started on all of his unpaid clinical hours 

**Kitten:** he's always texting us though 

**MinMin:** He's really fucking good at multitasking, but it's also why he always makes so many mistakes 

**MinMin:** It started happening a lot, and he tried to correct himself for a while, but eventually he just gave up because it took too much extra time 

**MinMin:** Also with the crying at seemingly random things, like he's always so tired and stressed, it's easy to break him when he finally has down time and let's himself relax 

**MinMin:** Hobi is meeting him at the fountain 

**MinMin:** Tae only goes to the fountain when he needs to study for a big exam coming up 

**eat ass:** shit i'm never making fun of his spelling ever again 

**Daddy <3:** but it's not finals or anything what kind of big exam could he be studying for 

**blessed:** it's the only reason why i let him cry on me tbh like i complain but whenever jimin shows up to "remove" him aka help me cheer him up i'm always trying to comfort him 

**Kitten:** yoongi,,,,, is so soft 

**Daddy <3:** don't touch me i'm crying 

**MinMin:** I think he has the EMT test at the hospital coming in like two weeks or something 

**Kitten:** wait i remember him talking about that 

**MinMin:** Tae's a lot more than what you see on the surface 

**eat ass:** how come we couldn't see how stressed he was he can't have always been like this 

**MinMin:** He wasn't, not until like tenth grade, that's when he moved and started taking his life seriously and joined the health class. You guys didn't know him before that, but i did. 

**[hobihobi changed his name to Tae's bf]**

**smooth:** cute 

**Tae's bf:** are you talking about yourself? 

**blessed:** ew 

**Daddy <3:** i just slut dropped in celebration 

**Kitten:** he did, he stopped cuddling me just to stand up and slut drop 

**eat ass:** does the poor little kitten want cuddles 

**Kitten:** yes tf do i look like to u jin get back here 

**Daddy <3:**coming 

**eat ass:** wtf 


	10. let's cause a little trouble (oh he makes me feel so weak)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm such a fuckin slut for taegi bromance it's an issue
> 
> idk how to insert pictures but imma try  
> ignore the dispatch logo lmao
> 
> i have none of the next chapter written but i vaguely know what's going to happen
> 
> give me ideas pls
> 
> fun fact i forgot that i changed taes and hobis names until i was just about to post this bc i was trying tO FIX A GODDAMN TEXT FROM JIMIN THAT WOULDNT FORMAT RIGHT I WANT TO DIE
> 
>    
> //edit// i meant to post this last night but right as i went to post it i goT ATTACKED BY A FUCKING BAT TJAT MADE ITS WAY INTO MY LIVING ROOM AT 4 AM  
> i hate my fucking life
> 
> pls leave me comments and love
> 
> i love everyone who has already left me comments ur all beautiful and sweet and ilysm 
> 
>  
> 
> trouble -- halsey

**Chat: I Have Regrets™]**

**[MinMin changed his name to SexyMin]**

**eat ass:** lol sure

 **SexyMin:** wait no thsi is taetae

 **SexyMin:** wrong phon

 **smooth:** chims going out with hobi and o tonite he look fine af

 **smooth:** ya boi fixed him right up

 **SexyMin:** Taeee

 **SexyMin:** Wait my name

 **SexyMin:** T a e

**[SexyMin changed his name to MinMin]**

**MinMin:** Better. 

********

**[Tae's bf changed MinMin's name to SexyMin]**

****

**SexyMin:** Hobi hyung not you too

****

**[SexyMin changed his name to MinMin]**

****

**[smooth changed MinMin's name to SexyMin]**

****

**[SexyMin changed smooth's name to Annoying #1]**

****

**[SexyMin changed Tae's bf's name to Annoying #2]**

****

**Annoying #2:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

****

**Annoying #1:** anywas u all shold join us were goung to the clib on north

****

**eat ass:** rub that clib

****

**[Daddy has removed eat ass from the group]**

****

**blessed:** lmao same

****

**blessed:** and count me out i'm staying in the studio

****

**Kitten:** don't they ever lock that place

****

**blessed:** yeah every night at 8 and unlock it every morning at 6

****

**blessed:** do you not think i know how to pick a fuckin lock

****

**Kitten:** forgot who i was talking to for a second

****

**blessed:** damn right u did bye 

****

**SexyMin:** Hyuuuuunnnnngggiiiieeee

****

**Daddy <3:** yoongi get dressed because i will literally drag you out

****

**blessed:** alright alright fine

****

**[Chat: d-boys]**

****

**mini yoongles:** is it really that bad

****

**taegi supporter:** u maen good? bc yes

****

**mini yoongles:** im not going to survive tonight am i

****

**taegi supporter:** okay. yoongi. listen to mefor a minute okay.

****

**mini yoongles:** okay

****

**taegi supporter:** you're literally one of my two best friends, jimin is the other, and what you're doing right now is hurting the both of you

****

**taegi supporter:** you mean a lot to me, you're literally the first person other than my parents that i could understand when i moved here. i didnt know english, not even a little bit

****

**taegi supporter:** you are the person that spent so much time helping both me and my parents learn our way around, i was seventeen yoongi

****

**taegi supporter:** and jimin is my friend from when i was maybe fourteen

****

**taegi supporter:** you two mean the world to me so you need to pull your head out of your goddamn ass and fix this

****

**mini yoongles:** tae its not that easy

****

**mini yoongles:** im so scared that ill ruin everything and nothing will be able to go back to how it was

****

**taegi supporter:** you stop that

****

**taegi supporter:** theres no way you'll ruin anything

****

**taegi supporter:** if something goes wrong then itll just be awkward for a bit between you two jimin is too stubborn to let you go

****

**taegi supporter:** and thats just a scenario. believe me when i tell you that it wont go wrong.

****

**mini yoongles:** you cant guarantee that

****

**taegi supporter:** i'm kim taehyung i can do anything fuck you

****

**mini yoongles:** just like you could do anything and got stuck hanging upside down from that fence and almost got caught by the fucking police

****

**mini yoongles:** or that time we trashed the bookstore and you almost set yourself on fire

****

**taegi supporter:** what about when u broke your wrist getting into the storm drain to hide from the police you're lucky the dogs didn't catch our scents

****

**mini yoongles:** the scent of sewage covered it up

****

**taegi supporter:** probably not we were bleeding pretty bad from the broken glass

****

**mini yoongles:** true i don't know how we got away

****

**mini yoongles:** and to think just the other day jimin was talking about how you got your life together when you moved

****

**taegi supporter:** senior year was an exception okay

****

**mini yoongles:** it started in junior year tae but whatever i know you're not busy right now bc you're typing good so get over here and make me look hot

****

**taegi supporter:** 3 min

****

**[Chat: I Have Regrets™]**

****

**[Annoying #1 changed his name to Taetertot]**

****

**[Taetertot added Jeon Jungkook to I Have Regrets™]**

****

**Taetertot:** boi have i outdoen myslef with yongles

****

**Taetertot:** say bye greeen hair

****

**[Jeon Jungkook changed his name to golden boi]**

****

**golden boi:** wait it's the end of an era

****

**Daddy <3:** a beautiful era

****

**Kitten:** i'll never be the same

****

**Taetertot:**

****

**Taetertot:** hullo blondie

****

**Daddy <3:** ??? beautiful era you mean right now???

****

**Kitten:** green hair who ion know her

****

**golden boi:** BOI

****

**[golden boi has changed blessed's name to fuCK ME]**

****

**MinMin:** holy shit...

****

**fuCK ME:** ahhh thanks?? i guess?

****


	11. dance dance (we're falling apart)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk i just wrote this just now idk how i feel about it
> 
> i was sitting here thinking about what to write playing w the band of my thigh highs and i just
> 
> imagine tae in thigh highs
> 
> so yeah that got a little out of control
> 
> and imagine tae and join as dirty dancing partners just bc they can
> 
> like literally just bc they can
> 
> i love
> 
>  
> 
> pls leave me comments and love and ideas i need validation from strangers on the internet
> 
> dance dance -- fall out boy

**[Chat: exotic dancers]**

 

 **big slut:** am i going to be okay???

 **big slut:** no, no i don't think i am.

 **fuckin sun:** and he's slowly losing his grammar skills once again

 **hungkook:** yeah what's new anyways does anyone have any eyeliner i can borrow im out

 **fuckin sun:** yeah i'm coming over r u dressed

 **hungkook:** yea

 **big slut:** yes let's just ignore my problems thx

 **fuckin sun:** what problems

 **hungkook:** ur don't have any real problems lmao

 **big slut:** yes i do man tf am i supposed to do about yoongi shit he looks so hot but i cant

 **fuckin sun:** you're literally?? so hot??

 **hungkook:** uve got that whole dominance thing going on too tf

 **hungkook:** like ur small but ur daddy u kno

 **big slut:** not exactly what i meant but thanks

 **big slut:** i just moved here like what less than two years ago?? ion know shit

 **big slut:** yoongis lived here for half his life

 **big slut:** im a top im rlly dominate in bed everyone knows this

 **fuckin sun:** yeah we've seen enough evidence

 **big slut:** knowing my luck yoongis probably a top look at him that's hot af he's probably like an oppa idk i don't think he'd go for daddy since he calls tae that

 **hungkook:** yoongi

 **hungkook:** min yoongi

 **hungkook:** an oppa

 **hungkook:** yea sure

 **fuckin sun:** im crying oh my god

 **fuckin sun:** kid are you serious

 **hungkook:** yoongi is one of the biggest fuckin subs

 **fuckin sun:** like he rivals tae

 **hungkook:** who do you think got tae into lingerie

 **big slut:** w h a t

 

**[Chat: I Have Regrets™]**

 

 **Kitten:** is that tae wearing shorts and thigh highs

 **Kitten:** jeon are you wearing fishnets under your ripped jeans

 **fuCK ME:** yeah i had to help him step into the thigh highs his legs look hella nice

 **golden boi:** yea

 **Kitten:** i don't know why i wasn't expecting something like this

 **golden boi:** fuck gender roles man i got winged eyeliner too fuck u

**[Annoying #2 changed his name to hoe]**

**hoe:** i did it for him it looks great

 **Kitten:** ...

 **Kitten:** can u come do mine

 **hoe:** hell yeah let's grab a table while taes getting drinks

 **Daddy <3:** did you just convert my boyfriend

 **fuCK ME:** looks like it

 **Daddy <3:** fuck yes he's going to look so pretty

 **Taetertot:** the wrld neds mre reactions lik that

 **Taetertot:** anways jimin where r u i have drinks

 **MinMin:** Coming.

~~

 **Daddy <3:** where's jungkook

 **hoe:** i think he went to dance

 **fuCK ME:** what about tae

 **hoe:** he's with me

 **hoe:** nvm i think he went to find jimin

**Taetertot:**

**Taetertot:** bois out here wildin

 **Taetertot:** i luv him

 **Taetertot:** im gonna danse w him

 **fuCK ME:** aw fuck

 

**[Chat: d-boys]**

 

 **mini yoongles:** i'm not okay

 **taegi supporter:** u wil be

 **taegi supporter:** com dance w us

 **taegi supporter:** get that cute little tush ovr here

 **taegi supporter:** mayb u can finally get fuckd tonite

 **mini yoongles:** not while drunk i can't do that

 **taegi supporter:** he's had nothin but coke all nite he doesn't want a hangover tomorro

 **taegi supporter:** and ik uve only had sprite bc ur a lightweight

 **mini yoongles:** fuck i'm on my way

 **taegi supporter:** hell yea

 **mini yoongles:** but we won't fuck

 **mini yoongles:** not until we talk

 **taegi supporter:** even better

 

**[Chat: I Have Regrets™]**

 

 **Daddy <3:** is anyone even drinking i thought we came here to get fucked up

 **Taetertot:** lmao i have class tomoro i jus wanna dance

 **Taetertot:** be a hoe

 **Taetertot:** the norm

 **Taetertot:** hobi com here so i cn grind thx

 **Kitten:** even yoongis out there dancing

 **Kitten:** i see jeon getting his soul sucked out his mouth in the corner

 **hoe:** get blackmail pictures

 **Kitten:** already did gonna come dance

 **Taetertot:** hobi still hasn't shown up com grind w me joonie

 **Kitten:** omw

 **Daddy <3:** why does this always happen when i'm in line for the bathroom

 **hoe:** are they really about to grind

 **Daddy <3:** yeah tae and joon always do at some point

 **Daddy <3:** i've accepted it

 **hoe:** well damn

~~

 **hoe:** yoongi and jimin may as well be grinding shit man

 **Daddy <3:** im on my way over i need to witness this

 **Daddy <3:** my babies

 **Daddy <3:** are they getting their shit together finally

 **golden boi:** probably not

 **golden boi:** im coming to dance too

 **golden boi:** hobi dance w me

 **hoe:** k


	12. i hope (he is a gentleman)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it was supposed to be yugyeom but then boom boom came on no shame
> 
> i don't really have much to say about this
> 
> other than i love seventeen
> 
> my pintrest is mainly bts and seventeen at this point i hate my life
> 
> i'm just a little lesbian trying to make it in this cruel world
> 
> lmao no i'm almost 6'1
> 
> bye
> 
>  
> 
> pls leave me comments and ideas and support i will reply i love attention and validation
> 
> grand theft autumn -- fall out boy

**[Chat: I Have Regrets™]**

 

**Daddy <3:** so,,,,,jungkook :)

**golden boi:** oh no

**Kitten:** :)))

**Taetertot:** what's glin on hwre

**fuCK ME:** this already sounds bad i am ready

**golden boi:** what does that mean??

**hoe:** bitch i'm ready spill the tea

**MinMin:** Is this about what I hope it is?

**Daddy <3:** namjoonie may have noticed something while we were at the club jungkook

**MinMin:** Y e s.

**Kitten:** we were going to wait and use it against you some other time,,,,,but it happened again

**golden boi:** what do you mean??

**golden boi:** i literally haven't done anything for once

**Daddy <3:** jungkook :))))

**Daddy <3:** who's this

**Daddy <3:**

**golden boi:** OH WOW LOOK IM LATE FOR THAT THING AT THE THING I GOTTA GO NICE CHAT WEVE HAD HAHAHAHA BYE

**Kitten:** we'll find him sooner or later kook

**Kitten:** :))

**fuCK ME:** w a i t

**Taetertot:** don tel me u kno him

**fuCK ME:** give me a minute

**MinMin:** God, this makes me so happy.

**hoe:** exposing jungkook?

**MinMin:** Yes.

**fuCK ME:** did either of you manage to see his face better than in the picture

**Kitten:** he walked right past us

**fuCK ME:** is this him

**fuCK ME:**

**Kitten:** y e s

**fuCK ME:** name is kim mingyu he's one of jihoons friends

**Taetertot:** aww i luv ur cousin jihoonie is so cute an vicious just lik u

**fuCK ME:** he says you're a dumbass

**Taetertot:** tel him it's ok ik he luvs me 2

**fuCK ME:** he says u have to take him out for coffee on wednesday

**Taetertot:** nic im down

**hoe:** should i be jealous

**Taetertot:** jihooni is celabreeting his 4yr annniversarry w his bf on sunday

**hoe:** okay i'm good

**Kitten:** update: jin is chasing jungkook down

**MinMin:** I love this.

**Kitten:** he's in kooks bio lab

**Kitten:** everyone is staring

**MinMin:** True art.

**Kitten:** kooks is screaming

**Kitten:** jin has him by the ear

**fuCK ME:** idk if jin's torturing of jungkook or jimins obvious enjoyment of it is scarier

**hoe:** don't act like you're not enjoying it too

**fuCK ME:** lmao true

**Kitten:** the prof isn't there and jin is dragging him out with one hand on his ear and the other dragging by the shirt

**Kitten:** my boyfriend is so hot

**Taetertot:** gay

**Taetertot:** u just wanna be manhandld lik that

**Kitten:** hell yeah

**Kitten:** don't act like you don't

**Taetertot:** can't even deni it


	13. i'm just a painter (and i'm drawing a blank)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao i would have had this up earlier but i played like five hours straight of persona 5
> 
> my aesthetic is jeongguk and tae getting each other into trouble but still being bros bc once you help someone get their dick out of a bottle then there's no going back
> 
> my other aesthetic is tae and hobi having slightly conflicting schedules so when tae doesn't have to do clinical hours in the evenings, he goes over to hobis apartment that he shares with a perpetually absent flat mate and let's himself in and just goes wherever he feels like and just laying everything out and studying (usually hoseoks bed (but hobi will never forget the time that he found tae studying on the bathroom floor)) until hobi returns from the studio and then hobi joins him (his grades have improved drastically since they started dating) and they just study until one of them falls asleep or gets hungry
> 
> anyways that was rlly long
> 
>  
> 
> i may do a seventeen chat fic if people want?? idk
> 
>  
> 
> pls leave me comments and love and support in very needy and love you all
> 
>  
> 
> don't you know who i think i am -- fall out boy

**[Chat: I Have Regrets™]**

**golden boi:** no matter what tae says i'm not crying don't listen to him

 **Taetertot:** he's fuckin sobbing bc welcome 2 the blakc paraed came on

 **golden boi:** fuck u no i'm not

 **Daddy <3:** i guarentee that you are jungkook

 **hoe:** yeah you tend to do that

 **Kitten:** you cry every single time

 **Kitten:** my mom came home to you sobbing on my kitchen floor whispering it to yourself at three in the morning over christmas break last year kid

 **Kitten:** she thought you were drunk but no you were very sober

 **MinMin:** I smell drama.

 **MinMin:** Please continue.

 **fuCK ME:** lmao are we talking about jeon being a whiny emo ass little bitch

 **fuCK ME:** boi do i got some stories

 **golden boi:** hey hoseok

 **hoe:** yea

 **golden boi:** this is who tae had a crush on before u

**golden boi:**

**golden boi:** have fun lmao

 **Taetertot:** waHT THEE FUKC JUNGCOOC

 **Taetertot:** WHY

 **fuCK ME:** nvm there's drama i'm here for it

 **Kitten:** wasn't he in the play he did damn good

 **hoe:** lmao why would he be with me if he still had a crush on that guy

 **MinMin:** Is Hobi like impossible to get jealous??

 **hoe:** doesn't bother me that he had a crush on bogum sorry

**[Kim Taehyung added Jeon Wonwoo to "I Have Regrets™"]**

**Taetertot:** HEY WONWOO LONG TIME NO SEE BUDDY

**[Jeon Wonwoo has changed his name to WeeWoo]**

**[Min Yoongi added Kim Mingyu to "I Have Regrets™"]**

**fuCK ME:** lmao got his contact from jihoon

 **Taetertot:** WeeWoo rlly

 **WeeWoo:** yea fuck u

**[ Kim Mingyu changed his name to pristin supporter]**

**pristin supporter:** why am i here

 **pristin supporter:** anyways who's in this chat

 **Taetertot:** tae

 **hoe:** hoseok

 **Kitten:** namjoon yo wonwoo

 **MinMin:** Jimin

 **Daddy <3:** jin

 **fuCK ME:** yoongi

 **fuCK ME:** hey wonwoo hey mingyu

 **Taetertot:** there's also jungkook but he got into the shower can't wait for him to see this

 **WeeWoo:** so i know like four of you including my bitchass cousin

 **WeeWoo:** don't get me wrong i love him but he's a little bitch sometimes

 **pristin supporter:** i only know like three

 **pristin supporter:** why are we here

 **Taetertot:** lmao give it two minutes he turned off the shower

 **golden boi:** WHAT THE FUCK

 **golden boi:** WONWOO MINGYU LEAVE

 **WeeWoo:** lmao no what's up tae

 **Taetertot:** did you know that your lovely best friend has been fucking your cousin for who knows how long

 **WeeWoo:** WHAT

 **Daddy <3:** im fucking crying oh my god

 **golden boi:** NO IM NOT DONT BELIEVE THEM

 **hoe:** god my boyfriend is great

 **Daddy <3:** this is amazing

 **Kitten:** he just slut dropped in the middle of the corridor

**Taetertot:**

**pristin supporter:** GOTTA GO FAST

**[Kim Mingyu has left "I Have Regrets™]**

**MinMin:** God, i love torturing Jeongguk.

 **WeeWoo:** ONCE IM DONE WITH MINGYU YOURE NEXT JEONGGUK

**[Jeon Wonwoo has left "I Have Regrets™"]**

**golden boi:** shit

 **golden boi:** YOONGI AND TAE MADE OUT ONCE

 **MinMin:** w h a t

 **hoe:** what

 **Daddy <3:** wh a t

 **Kitten:** oh my fucking god i forgot about that

 **fuCK ME:** lmao yeah

 **Taetertot:** senior year was a riot

 **Taetertot:** i swear we were drunk for like half of the year

 **fuCK ME:** the four of us were drunk in a storm drain

 **fuCK ME:** joon was supervising jeon or something idk but they were farther in the drain exploring

 **fuCK ME:** and i guess when they came back me and tae were hardcore making out weren't we daddy

 **Taetertot:** yeah we were baby boy jeongguk used to have a video

 **MinMin:** what the fuck

 **hoe:** holy shit that's fucking hilarious

 **Daddy <3:** is hobi still not jealous

 **hoe:** nah it was like three years ago and taes literally lying in my bed waiting for me to come back with food rn

 **Kitten:** that is one healthy relationship

 **Taetertot:** we jst trust eachotter ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	14. running from lions (never felt like such a mistake)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WILL NOT UPDATE FOR AT LEAST A WEEK
> 
> i'm gonna be up in maine with no wifi figuring out the best way to drown myself in the lake lmao
> 
> but yeah i won't update for at least a week i leave tomorrow to go get down and dirty in some cabin on a lake idk my grandfather pays for it so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 
> 
> it's gonna be a drunk party of gays
> 
> there's so many gays on my dads side of the family i can't wait to join them
> 
> god a drunk teenage lesbian a bunch of drunk gay adults and a bunch of fireworks on a lake
> 
> what could go wrong
> 
>  
> 
> anyways
> 
> i didn't have any of this planned out i winged it lmao
> 
> quite surprisingly pleased with how it turned out
> 
> possible yoonmin
> 
> tae is a good friend™
> 
>  
> 
> running from lions -- all time low

**[Chat: I Have Regrets™]**

**Kitten:** jeons missing i think wonwoo got him 

**fuCK ME:** god damn finally 

**Kitten:** i know for once we won't have to deal with him whining over being called jungkook or jeongguk 

**fuCK ME:** that was his fault anyways 

**Daddy <3:** nah it's really fucking americans faults 

**Daddy <3:** jeongguk isn't that hard 

**MinMin:** literally lmao 

**Taetertot:** he aways uses propr grammer except when distresed or roasting poor jeon 

**hoe:** what's the story behind jeons names 

**fuCK ME:** i keep forgetting that he wasn't always here 

**Taetertot:** same yoons i mak refrences he dosnt understand all the time 

**Kitten:** in elementary school he wrote his name as jeongguk on all his papers but the teacher kept writing jungkook and since his name is originally in hangul he thought he needed to spell it jungkook and started doing that right when the teacher realized she was wrong 

**Kitten:** so she asked him about it and he started crying 

**Kitten:** boi was a kid tho he was like seven 

**Daddy <3:** nams literally has all the dirt on jeon i love it 

**Daddy <3:** ily namjoonie Ɛ>

**golden boi:** i was going to cuss out namjoon but???? what the actual fuck jin???? 

**Daddy <3:** what?? 

**Taetertot:** ur 3 is backward???? 

**Kitten:** <3 

**fuCK ME:** this gotta be some weeaboo ass bullshit 

**fuCK ME:** japanese fuckery 

**MinMin:** Hyungie, that might be a bit offensive... 

**fuCK ME:** shit 

**Daddy <3:** i literally just sent a heart?? 

**Daddy <3:** Ɛ>

**Daddy <3:** ?? 

**golden boi:** noah fence but in already over this 

**golden boi:** guess who's got a date motherfuckers 

**Taetertot:** me 

**hoe:** me 

**hoe:** speaking of which i'm here tae 

**golden boi:** fuck you 

**golden boi:** anyways mingyus officially taking me on a date in ten minutes 

**golden boi:** suck my ass 

**MinMin:** No thanks, I'd rather go straight 

**fuCK ME:** lmao i got a date too u ain't special 

**Daddy <3:** WH A T 

**Kitten:** with who???? 

**fuCK ME:** kihyun 

**[Chat: d-boys]**

**taegi supporter:** but u like jimin?????? 

**mini yoongles:** i gave up 

**mini yoongles:** i need to move on 

**mini yoongles:** there's no way he'd like me and i've accepted it and now you need to as well 

**mini yoongles:** this was over before it began and i shouldn't have ever gotten my hopes up 

**mini yoongles:** now in going to go on a date with kihyun and hopefully enjoy it 

**taegi supporter:** i know you 

**taegi supporter:** and i know jimin 

**taegi supporter:** you need to snap the fuck out of whatever delusional reality you're living in min yoongi 

**taegi supporter:** im not going to let you hurt yourself any longer 

**mini yoongles:** in already doing that by removing myself from this situation 

**[Chat: I Have Regrets™]**

**[Taetertot sent a screenshot]**

// 

**[Chat: korean hoes]**

**Chimichanga:** fuck yoongi looks so hot 

**Chimichanga:** like he's so badass looking 

**Chimichanga:** but so fucking soft???? 

**Chimichanga:** i am Weak™ 

**Tits:** when are u going to tell him that u love him 

**Chimichanga:** god im too much of a wimp to 

**Chimichanga:** like around him is just so weak and in love 

// 

**MinMin:** what the actual fuck taehyung 


	15. let's hear it (for america's suithearts)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao i'm back i have like three chapters to post in the next days
> 
> i'm on the highway rn and i have been for the past 7 hours i crave death
> 
> my puppy is so well behaved in the car i love her
> 
> idk these were all written with a playlist of seventeen, bts, got7, dean, zico, and gdRAgoN OPPaR
> 
> anyways
> 
> here we go
> 
> oh yeah there's yoonmin that's kind of a thing
> 
> lmao mad world just came on my dads playlist
> 
> alL aRouND Me aRE fAmILIAr FacES
> 
> oh yeah the chapter
> 
>  pls leave me comments and affection i'm very needy and crave validation from strangers on the internet
> 
>  
> 
> america's suitehearts -- fall out boy

**[Chat: I Have Regrets™]**

**Taetertot:** figure your fucking shit out 

**Kitten:** damn tae 

**fuCK ME:** oh 

**Daddy <3:** well shit 

**hoe:** lmao nice babe 

**MinMin:** im sorry yoongi 

**MinMin:** im so fucking sorry 

**fuCK ME:** don't be 

**MinMin:** no i shouldn't have been talking like that 

**MinMin:** i shouldn't have feelings for one of my best friends 

**fuCK ME:** taehyung 

**Taetertot:** on it 

**[Taetertot sent a screenshot to I Have Regrets™]**

// 

**[Chat: d-boys]**

**mini yoongles:** god i swear he ruins me on purpose 

**mini yoongles:** who decided this orange hair was a good idea 

**mini yoongles:** its bad for my heart 

**taegi supporter:** lmao that would be me 

**mini yoongles:** fuck yourself 

**mini yoongles:** he's so hot 

**taegi supporter:** god ur in deep 

**mini yoongles:** proudly 

// 

**fuCK ME:** it isn't just you 

**golden boi:** WHAT DID I JUST COME BACK TO 

**golden boi:** ARE YOU SORTING YOUR SHIT OUT 

**golden boi:** DAMMIT I OWE JIN $15 

**golden boi:** BUT HOBI OWES US BOTH $50 

**golden boi:** IM OUT 

**MinMin:** shut the fuck up jeon we're in the middle of something here 

**fuCK ME:** god dammit 

**fuCK ME:** come to my apartment 

**fuCK ME:** we'll talk in person 

**hoe:** boi 

**hoe:** don't be so secretive 

**MinMin:** We're keeping you nosey little fuckers out of it. 

**Kitten:** it's not nice to keep secrets 

**MinMin:** It's not nice to pry into someone else's life. 

**Daddy <3:** let me know if it's time to celebrate im feeling a slut drop coming on 

**Taetertot:** let me kno if u bed me 2 slut drop 

**Daddy <3:** boi 

**Taetertot:** boi 

**Daddy <3:** oh man holy shit 

**Taetertot:** wtf 

**Taetertot:** stop coping me 

**Daddy <3:** stop copying me 

**golden boi:** fuck you jin 

**Daddy <3:** shut the fuck up jeon we're in the middle of something here 

**Kitten:** but does this mean we're finally done with ust 

**[MinMin has changed fuCK ME's name to Baby]**

**Baby:** i will break up with you 

**MinMin:** No you won't. 

**Baby:** shit ur right 

**Daddy <3:** i slut dropped 

**Taetertot:** i dropd it so low lmao 

**hoe:** i kind of regret this already 

**hoe:** but i also don't 

**hoe:** fuck feelings 

**Taetertot:** escuse u 

**hoe:** you're excused 

**Taetertot:** wow i'm back on the markt joons u wana fck 

**golden boi:** did i just watch my best friends relationship go up in flames 

**Daddy <3:** ill fucking fight you kim taehyung you little bitch 

**Kitten:** they're sitting across the room from me giggling at each other 

**Kitten:** i hate love 

**Daddy <3:** Kitten. 

**Kitten:** hi daddy i love you please fuck me 

**Taetertot:** the kinks cum out and ur compltly shamless 

**Kitten:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**[Jeon Jungkook changed the chat name to "the uglies"]**


	16. when i'm in front of you (even beyoncé's butt seems flat)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao so i woke up one day and remembered that i had had a rlly good idea for a chapter the night before  
> so i look in my notes and it just says  
> "jin is best daddy" along with "jay park mommae"  
> then i remembered that i had done a bit of drinking the night before  
> but i was like ok maybe i guess  
> and i wrote this that night  
> after drinking  
> yeah  
> i'm sorry  
> i don't normally drink i'm a good kid i promise
> 
> but jin is daddy
> 
> gdi i'm a lesbian
> 
> anyways tae and hobi and jeon and mingyu don't actually have daddy kinks
> 
> okay pls leave me comments i love you all bc i'm a needy little bitch 
> 
> oh well
> 
> mommae -- jay park
> 
> edit:// i tried to fix the layout of the pictures but i can't so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**[Chat: the uglies]**

**Baby:** lmao my boyfriend is better than all of urs

 **Daddy <3:** its only been like three weeks and yoongi is cheesy wtf

 **golden boi:** we have a baby and a daddy texting but they're not each others baby and daddy

 **Baby:** ill call jin daddy anytime

 **Baby:** have u seen his shoulders that's a whole daddy

 **Taetertot:** shit me 2

 **hoe:** did all of our bottoms just decide that jin is their daddy

 **MinMin:** The Fuck™.

 **Kitten:** back off hoes that's my daddy

 **Daddy <3:** kitten, you can share, can't you?

 **Kitten:** yes daddy luv u

 **golden boi:** lmao my bf is more daddy

 **golden boi:** 6'1 motherfuckers

 **Taetertot:** daddy jin cooks

 **golden boi:** so does mingyu fuck yourself

**[Baby added Kim Mingyu to the uglies]**

**Kitten:** we're fighting over who's the most daddy

**[Kim Mingyu changed his name to giant]**

**Baby:** all the bottoms except ur bf say jin jeon says u

 **Baby:** what's ur argument for being the better daddy

 **giant:** lmao jin can be my daddy anytime

 **MinMin:** We've lost all our bottoms and even a top, save the daddies.

 **Taetertot:** aight so like hafl of us woud bottom 4 ddy jin

 **golden boi:** im over here

 **golden boi:** trying to protect ur daddy status

 **golden boi:** and ur throwing that away

 **giant:** i know i'm ur daddy but consider this:

**giant:**

**golden boi:** well shit

 **hoe:** holy fuck

 **Kitten:** and these

**Kitten:**

**hoe:** shit man

 **hoe:** jin is a whole daddy

**Kitten:**

**golden boi:** damn daddy

 **MinMin:** Daddy Jin is the only true daddy.

 **MinMin:** We should all learn from him

 **Daddy <3:** yes i am the best

 **giant:** daddy jin the ultimate top

 **Taetertot:** get urself a daddy lik jin and ull never be didapponted

 **Kitten:** daddy jin takes care of me everyday

**Baby:**

**Baby:** daddy jin feeds me good looks everyday

 **MinMin:** Daddy Jin is the visual master.


	17. put him in the back of a squad car (restrain that man)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to be posted sooner but school started back up  
> i still need to buy new scrubs but it's hard to find tall length scrubs for some reason someone please help me i need like a 35 inch inseam skinny style scrubs  
> for some reason if you get tall length normal scrubs they are like ten times as baggy??  
> the second day of school is too early to be handing out papers with dicks on them wtf  
> i mean it's anatomy but still
> 
> anyways i tried to name this chapter but for some reason i pasted the chapter into it and basically started crying omfg i'm so stressed again already  
> chapters might be more like every three days to once a week idk i become like tae so i might be studying every waking moment once school kicks into full gear
> 
> get u friends like these
> 
> lmao i've done what namjoon did before to help a friend you might get in trouble depending on how big the class is but it's worth it
> 
> establish codes with your friends it helps a lot  
> my favorite code was code yellow and it meant "everything has gone wrong and we need to leave immediately" and we've used that too many times
> 
>  
> 
> pls leave comments i'm lonely and need chapter ideas
> 
> seriously tell me what you want to happen and it probably will
> 
>  
> 
> disloyal order of the water buffalo -- fall out boy
> 
>  
> 
> ///edit: this said jin was in incheon but i just remembered that this is supposed to be in america (new york city i guess) so let's make it so that he's in albany or something idk how new york works im a MA girl///

**[Chat: the uglies]**

**golden boi:** code yellow art studio second floor w mingyu there's five hurry 

**Baby:** two minutes jimins with me 

**Kitten:** lmao just left a lecture half way through be there soon 

**hoe:** ??? i'm on my way give me five but what's code yellow 

**Daddy <3:** god dammit i'm in albany 

**Taetertot:** im here i'll be a look out 

**Daddy <3** green - immediate help needed be prepared for anything  
blue - someones in the hospital  
purple - needs to get out of town quick  
yellow - there's a fight  
orange - cops have been called  
red - someone is arrested  
white - unexpected parental visit  
black - death  


**Taetertot:** code black has obviously never been called 

**Taetertot:** but yeah p much everything else 

**Taetertot:** i can't respond to yellows because i could lose everything i've worked for for so long 

**hoe:** shit man 

**hoe:** entering building now 

**Daddy <3:** dammit tae what's going on 

**Taetertot:** i got here at the same time as yoongi and jimin 

**Taetertot:** jeon was backed into a corner with mingyu surrounded by five guys 

**Daddy <3:** fuck is it the homophobic pricks that were bothering him yesterday 

**Taetertot:** yeah yoongi jumped on ones back and mingyu threw one into a wall 

**Daddy <3:** yoongi is such a dirty fighter 

**Taetertot:** chims is holding two guys back lmao they're like two feet taller than him 

**Taetertot:** chim is such a daddy 

**Daddy <3:** no time for daddy kinks tae 

**Taetertot:** nams knocked one out i think?? idk but he was on his chest repeatedly punching his heads 

**Taetertot:** everyone has taken a beating these guys are big i might have to jump in 

**Daddy <3:** tae?? 

**Daddy <3:** taehyung???? 

**Daddy <3:** fuck what's going on 

**Daddy <3:** i just ditched my parents at lunch 

**Daddy <3:** im coming as fast as i can 

**Taetertot:** CODE ORANGE 

**Daddy <3:** tae it's been an hour i just got on the train what happened 

**Taetertot:** someone threw hobi into a table and it broke so i jumped in 

**Taetertot:** i was by the door and heard someone call the cops we ran down the hall going through classrooms and got downstairs and then into the building next door 

**Taetertot:** im fixing jeons nose in the basement bathroom right now but i need a first aid kit at the least to really help anything 

**Taetertot:** fuck 

**Taetertot:** fuck 

**Daddy <3:** what 

**Taetertot:** FUCK 

**MinMin:** shit this isn't good 

**Kitten:** fuck jin get down here as soon as you can 

**Daddy <3:** someone tell me what the fuck is going on 

**Daddy <3:** im freaking the fuck out here 

**golden boi:** code red 


	18. all my friends are heathens (take it slow)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two updates within a couple hours
> 
> it's 2 am
> 
> i started writing this one right after the last one but then i went and played persona 5 for a couple hours before finishing
> 
> anyways
> 
>  
> 
> pls leave me comments and ideas i love you 
> 
>  
> 
> heathens -- twenty one pilots

**[Chat: the uglies]**

**Daddy <3:** what the fuck do you mean code red 

**Daddy <3:** how the fuck did this happen 

**Daddy <3:** somebody fucking answer me right now the train is entering the station soon 

**Kitten:** everyone is freaking out jin 

**Kitten:** some of the guys still tried to attack us while leaving 

**Kitten:** yoongi mingyu and hobi were towards the back 

**Kitten:** they're not with us 

**Daddy <3:** what the fuck 

**Daddy <3:** oh my god i'm about to have a heart attack 

**Daddy <3:** calling my uncle 

**Kitten:** he can help right 

**Kitten:** drop the charges? 

**Daddy <3:** i don't know 

**Daddy <3:** when he hears what happened he might be able to help them some how 

**Daddy <3:** i don't know anything about law enforcement 

**Kitten:** taes frozen in place help 

**Kitten:** jimin was really angry there's a hole in the wall but now i think he's about to cry 

**Kitten:** jeon hasn't said a word he keeps texting mingyu with no response 

**Daddy <3:** rub taes back until he's breathing regularly 

**Daddy <3:** put earphones on jeon play something calming like iu 

**Daddy <3:** have minnie rest his head in your lap play with his hair 

**Daddy <3:** make sure all the bleeding stops let tae take over once he's good lead them to our apartment there's a first aid kit under both sinks 

**Daddy <3:** im calling my uncle now don't freak out joonie it will all be fine 

**Kitten:** okay 

**Kitten:** i'll keep you updated 

**Kitten:** taes really upset but he's helping me move the others now 

**Kitten:** he's going to clean us up once we get there but he's really quiet 

**Kitten:** jimin just went from looking like he wanted to cry staring at the wall to laughing??????? help???? 

**MinMin:** lmao i just remembered how many times yoongi's been arrested 

**MinMin:** he'll be fine ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**MinMin:** gonna kick his ass tho 

**Taetertot:** hobi is like a small child he won't last in the station he'll break down 

**Taetertot:** i mean he cried during sex that once 

**Taetertot:** maybe that was because i accidentally kneed him in the balls but 

**Taetertot:** anywys jeons compliaminf abt his nose agan brb 

**Kitten:** ???????? 

**Kitten:** everyone's acting normal??????? 

**golden boi:** lmao mingyus a pussy 

**golden boi:** i can't wait to hear about this 

**golden boi:** i bet he starts crying before hoseok 

**golden boi:** hahahaahah he's not getting sex for a month 

**golden boi:** fucker has to go and get arrested 

**Daddy <3:** its confirmed 

**Daddy <3:** all three were brought into custody 

**Kitten:** jesus fucking christ 

**Daddy <3:** along with three of the dumbasses who stuck around after attacking jeon and mingyu 

**Daddy <3:** apparently they're really dumb and started pointing the blame at the each other 

**golden boi:** not surprised tbh they thought our "faginess" was contagious and didn't want it to spread to them 

**Daddy <3:** our three will probably be released soon because they've had completely matching stories while the other three were completely different and even revealed who the fourth and fifth were accidentally 

**Daddy <3:** yoongi is making fun of the police officers 

**Daddy <3:** nothing new for them 

**MinMin:** Good to know he's fine. 

**MinMin:** still gonna have to spank him tho 

**Taetertot:** no need to reveal all ur mans kinks 

**MinMin:** You were literally talking three days ago about how much Hoseok hyung likes to see you tied up and in panties. 

**Taetertot:** boi u shoulda seen him that's some good shit right there mhm 

**Taetertot:** im upset at him rn but u know as soon as he's back in gonna need him to ruin me to make up for the emotional damage 

**Daddy <3:** a n y w a y s 

**Daddy <3:** im at the police station 

**Daddy <3:** i have been given mingyu 

**[Daddy <3 has added Kim Mingyu to the chat]**

**[Kim Mingyu has changed his name to tall]**

**tall:** jin updated me 

**tall:** are you sure you want to withhold sex from me jeon 

**golden boi:** no sir 

**golden boi:** come and get me pls 

**tall:** good boy 

**Daddy <3:** now in possession of one jung hoseok 

**hoe:** im a tough man for you now taehyung 

**hoe:** been to jail and everything 

**Taetertot:** my momma told me i'm not allowed to be with bad boys 

**hoe:** i cried over a flower last week 

**Taetertot:** lmao yeah 

**Taetertot:** rescue me pls 

**hoe:** wanna go look at dogs? 

**Taetertot:** u kno me so well 

**hoe:** coming 

**Daddy <3:** they're keeping yoongi bc he keeps harassing the officers 

**Daddy <3:** he's hanging out the bars making gestures and speaking informally to them 

**MinMin:** tell him that daddy is disappointed that he's not being good and he'll be punished if he continues 

**Daddy <3:**he just shut up so fast 

**Daddy <3:** some of the officers are laughing but he's ignoring them and sitting nicely in the holding cell 

**Daddy <3:** i think they're letting him out now 

**Baby:** sorry daddy i'm on my way now 

**Daddy <3:** he ran out 

**Daddy <3:**i guess i'm on my way 


	19. red orange yellow blue and green

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> requested chapter
> 
> i'm so happy to have gotten requests for this
> 
> people wanted to know when the other codes were used  
> so here it is
> 
> these little stories range from taes junior year in highschool to about four or five months before the first chapter
> 
> they all go in order except for the very last one which fits in probably around senior year
> 
> anyways the way that tae figured shit out about yoongi is a bit of a stretch considering he'd be about in his freshman yet if college but he also would have already been a cna so who knows  
>  
> 
> please leave comments and requests see i got a request and i got the chapter up the same day pls love me
> 
>  
> 
> title comes from that rainbow song i vaguely remember from like preschool but also may not be real idk that was a really long time ago

**code green: immediate help needed, be prepared for anything**

 

**[Chat: CHS Bitches]** (Yoongi, Namjoon, Taehyung, Jeongguk)

 

**notjk:** code green

**notjk:** my house now

**notjk:** only need one of u but come quick

**overachiever:** is it an emergency im at work

**overachiever:** wtf who changed my name

**daegu wilds #1:** lmao me

**daegu wilds #1:** and obviously it's a fuckin emergency he used the code

**daegu wilds #1:** iq 148 my ass

**daegu wilds #2:** on my wya jeonnny boi gime 3 min

**notjk:** thx im freaking the fuck out

**daegu wilds #1:** keep us updated tae i can come down if needed

**daegu wilds #2:** BOI

**daegu wilds #2:** IM CRYING

**notjk:** wait no

**daegu wilds #2:** YOI KNOW HOW WE GOT RLLY DRUNK LAST NIGHT

**daegu wilds #2:** JEON WENT OVER THE DEEP END

**notjk:** goddammit im underage

**notjk:** this is harassment

**daegu wilds #1:** tell me i'm ready

**daegu wilds #1:** join went off break but he'll read this once he gets off shift

**daegu wilds #1:** wait did jeon just wake up?? it's like 2pm wtf

**daegu wilds #2:** HE WOKE UP WITH HIS DICK STUCK JN A BOTTLE

**daegu wilds #1:** w h A T

**daegu wilds #1:** JEON

**daegu wilds #1:** HOW

**daegu wilds #1:** IF ITS SUCH A PROBLEM THAT UR UNDERAGE MAYBE YOU SHOULDNT BE STICKING UR DICK IN BOTTLES

**notjk:** pls

**notjk:** i don't know how it happened

**notjk:** but it did

**notjk:** and i have a lot of regrets

**notjk:** i woke up really hungover

**notjk:** with my dick stuck in a bottle

**notjk:** and i ask my kind friends for help

**notjk:** and this is how i get treated

**daegu wilds #2:** shut ur bunni ass up we hav scholl tomorro just be gld i got ur dick out

 

 

 

**code white: unexpected parental visit**

 

**[Chat: CHS Bitches]** (Yoongi, Namjoon, Taehyung, Jeongguk)

 

**overachiever:** code white

**overachiever:** pls help they're coming back home from korea early

**notjk:** is everything still a mess from last night

**overachiever:** there's alcohol and toilet paper everywhere i'm going to die

**overachiever:** help

**daegu wilds #1:** lmao no

**daegu wilds #1:** anyways tae and i are going to the movies don't text us

**overachiever:** jeon pls

**overachiever:** jeon??

**overachiever:** god dammit

**overachiever:** fuck you all

 

 

 

**code blue: someone is in the hospital**

 

**[Chat: mom dad and the three stooges]** (Seokjin, Yoongi, Namjoon, Taehyung, Jeongguk)

 

**eomama:** code blue come now

**j^2k:** what the fuck do you mean

**j^2k:** taes studying and joon is at work im grabbing them now we'll be there soon

**j^2k:** tell me what's going on

**eomama:** i don't know

**eomama:** we were watching a movie and he kept complaining about stomach pains

**eomama:** then he started to throw up and i didn't know what to do so i called 911

**eomama:** he couldn't get up

**eomama:** it hurt so bad i panicked

**im like TT:** was he showing any signs of where it hurt

**eomama:** not really

**eomama:** he was kind of holding around the top of his stomach

**im like TT:** was he eating while you were there

**eomama:** no he wasn't hungry

**eomama:** and then his stomach started to hurt

**eomama:** i think it grew steadily worse over the course of the movie before i called

**im like TT:** weird question but did he say if he was like constipated at all or anything

**j^2k:** we're on our way

**eomama:** with anyone else they wouldn't but we all know how vulgar yoongi is

**eomama:** i walked in the front door and he yelled "i can't shit and it's your fault kim seokjin" so maybe that's what he meant i did ask

**im like TT:** this could be a shit ton of stuff

**im like TT:** but i think appendicitis is most likely

**jin's daddy:** isn't that where your appendix explodes??

**jin's daddy:** god dammit did he change my name again

**im like TT:** it can

**im like TT:** but they can also remove it before that stage

**im like TT:** we're coming in now jin he'll be alright

 

 

 

**codes purple, blue, yellow, orange, red: someone needs to get out of town quick, someone is in the hospital, there is a fight, cops have been called, someone has been arrested**

 

**[Chat: Sucks Dick for Pocket Change]** (Seokjin, Yoongi, Namjoon, Jimin, Taehyung, Jeongguk)

 

**nurse taetae:** code blue but code purple please just get me out of here i can't do this

**nurse taetae:** please please just code purple

**ChimChim:** Tae??

**Suga(r):** tae what the fuck is going on

**NamMonster:** Taehyung fucking answer us

**juncock:** Kim Fucking Taehyung i'm on my way to the hospital you better fucking answer by the time i get there

**mario fucker:** im coming too jeon

**ChimChim:** TaeTae does this have to do with Oliver? I know those marks were from him you can't lie to me

**NamMonster:** what are you talking about jimin

**Suga(r):** what the fuck do you mean what did oliver do to taehyung

**ChimChim:** Tae kept showing up with bruises.

**ChimChim:** He kept saying he fell or walked into a doorway.

**ChimChim:** But Tae isn't that clumsy. Even Namjoon doesn't do that.

**juncock:** he looked scared some times

**juncock:** when oliver would come over

**juncock:** goddammit the fucker was abusing him

**juncock:** and we didn't fucking realize

**nurse taetae:** he wouldn't stop

**nurse taetae:** i made him angry

**nurse taetae:** please get me out of here

**nurse taetae:** i don't want to do this

**juncock:** we'll be there soon taetae please don't worry

**Suga(r):** im almost at the hospital tae

**Suga(r):** we're all coming

**Suga(r):** don't worry taetae he won't touch you

**Suga(r):** jimin jin jeon are you fucking there yet

**mario fucker:** im going to fucking kill him

**mario fucker:** joon is the baseball bat still in your trunk

**NamMonster:** what the fuck is going on jin

**NamMonster:** it should be im coming into the parking lot now

**Suga(r):** what the fuck happened to taehyung jin im still a couple minutes away

**mario fucker:** jimin jeongguk stay with tae right now

**mario fucker:** oliver fucking raped taehyung

**NamMonster:** what

**Suga(r):** please tell me that's a fucking joke

**NamMonster:** we're going to the apartment

**NamMonster:** jin is furious

**NamMonster:** i mean i am too but i've never seen jin so mad

**Suga(r):** ill come after i visit tae he needs us right now

**NamMonster:** don't worry about it tae needs you more right now

**NamMonster:** i think jin might actually murder him

**NamMonster:** we just pulled in jin grabbed the bat

**NamMonster:** don't let tae see the fucking chat

**NamMonster:** holy shit

**NamMonster:** highkey code yellow

**NamMonster:** jin definitely has the upper hand im just here for lookout 

**Suga(r):** keep me updated i took taes phone jimin and jeon are trying to distract him

**NamMonster:** fuck code orange

**NamMonster:** a neighbor came to investigate

**NamMonster:** jin won't stop

**Suga(r):** tell him to get the fuck out of there

**NamMonster:** i think he fucking broke olivers legs

**NamMonster:** shit i can't get him out

**NamMonster:** fuck the police are here

**NamMonster:** code red

**NamMonster:** they just arrested him

**NamMonster:** bout to get questioned everyone delete this chat just in case i have jin's phone too 

 

 

 

**BONUS**

 

 

**code black**

 

**[Chat: Backstreet Hoes]** (Seokjin, Yoongi, Namjoon, Jimin, Taehyung, Jeongguk)

 

**suga free:** code black

**Soakjim:** what

**jimmy:** please tell me i didn't just read code black

**TitTae:** yoongi answer us what the fuck do you mean code black where are you

**john:** yoongi where are you please what's going on

**nammoon:** dammit yoongi

**suga free:** namjoon knocked over my cactus

**suga free:** right out the window

**suga free:** completely killed it

**[Jeon Jungkook has left the chat]**

**[Kim Taehyung has left the chat]**

**[Kim Seokjin has left the chat]**

**[Park Jimin has left the chat]**

**nammoon:** yoongi why

**suga free:** you're a murderer

**suga free:** go buy me a new one

**suga free:** it will never replace phillip i loved him

 


	20. drag me 'round (kicking & screaming)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i haven't posted in a while
> 
> my shop week is fuckin insane there's so much to do at school  
> and this all needs to be done before we can do clinical hours
> 
> which is good bc i still haven't found scrub pants
> 
> or my hospital name tag but whatever
> 
> i have an anatomy test tomorrow that i haven't studied for
> 
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 
> 
>  
> 
> leave me requests i'll get those done quicker than a chapter that i have to think of on my own like this is so short i'm so sorry
> 
>  
> 
> pls leave me comments too i'm really fucking lonely
> 
>  
> 
> kicking & screaming -- all time low

**[Chat: the uglies]**

**golden boi:** i can't believe you guys got arrested

 **Taetertot:** i cant belive i got into a goddam fistfiht and almst got arrestted

 **hoe:** i broke my wrist man

 **hoe:** im on so many drugs

 **hoe:** and not the fun kind

 **Daddy <3:** we don't do drugs in this god damn household jung hoseok

 **hoe:** its pain meds jinnie

 **Daddy <3:** and does it look like i give a shit

 **Kitten:** you cried and made them give you pain killers when you cut your hand

 **Daddy <3:** someone is being a bad kitten

 **Kitten:** you better punish me daddy

 **Daddy <3:** coming home. you better be ready.

 **Baby:** what the fuck did i just read

 **MinMin:** Just ignore it, baby, that's what I've been doing.

 **golden boi:** im blocking everyone in this chat

 **Baby:** i have so many regrets

 **Taetertot:** nyways im going now bye

 **Taetertot:** that's a lie im bored

 **hoe:** yeah so am i

 **hoe:** call me?

 **Taetertot:** facetime

 **hoe:** k calling now

 **golden boi:** we just lost another couple

 **Baby:** it's because hoseok can't go to class until the doctor clears him for it and taes been doting on him

 **MinMin:** I love that my best friend is an actual nurse.

 **Baby:** tbh it's really helpful

 **golden boi:** lmao like in the storm drain

 **golden boi:** when i had to grab a first aid kit and sneak over there

 **Baby:** yeah like that

 **Baby:** we were bleeding really bad i was sure we'd need stitches

 **Baby:** but then how would we explain that

 **golden boi:** "yeah so i was trashing this abandoned warehouse bc a guy who hangs out there threatened my friend and we broke through a window to escape the cops"

 **MinMin:** I feel like I need this whole story.

 **Baby:** oh god

 **Baby:** jeon you start off

 **Baby:** like the very beginning

 **golden boi:** so you know how namjoon is hella smart

 **MinMin:** Of course.

 **golden boi:** well some guy decided to copy off of him in psych senior year

 **golden boi:** joonie noticed it tho and purposely put wrong answers

 **golden boi:** he fixed it after the guy handed his in

 **MinMin:** That's lowkey savage

 **golden boi:** he was pissed

 **golden boi:** and he basically threatened namjoons life

 **MinMin:** Well that's not cool.

 **Baby:** so of course when tae and i found out we had to do something

 **Baby:** a bit of following him found the warehouse

 **MinMin:** That's called stalking, baby.

 **Baby:** so we did some conspiring and got him detention with some string duct tape a sticky note and a baseball

 **MinMin:** How???

 **Baby:** and since we knew he wasn't going to be in the warehouse we went in and trashed the place

 **Baby:** spray paint, broken glass, nails, trash

 **Baby:** we fucking destroyed everything

 **Baby:** someone was driving by and noticed a mattress burning outside and a shit ton of the destruction and called the cops

 **MinMin:** You two went all out Im strangely proud but like also I thought Tae had been a good kid...

 **Baby:** they had a couple of fuckin dogs

 **Baby:** tae and i made our way out the back window but we cut ourselves up real bad

 **Baby:** we made it to one of the storm drain openings and ran through until we got to our normal one and called for back up

 **golden boi:** i was the back up

 **MinMin:** Wow that story was a fucking ride.

 **golden boi:** high school was great


	21. run run run away (lost lost lost my mind)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao so  
> i had half of this written already  
> and then i was like "this is all turning into high school stories"  
> so i decided it was time for some drama  
> again
> 
> yeah
> 
> anyways
> 
>  
> 
> bts dropped a DNA teaser while i was in school i love them
> 
> pls leave me comments i love all of you
> 
> give me ideas pls  
> runaway -- yeah yeah yeahs

**[Chat: the uglies]**

**Daddy <3:** what if yoongi was like six feet tall 

**Daddy <3:** that would be terrifying 

**golden boi:** highschool taehyung 

**Daddy <3:** taehyung? 

**hoe:** tae is a sweet baby who cries whenever he sees someone pretty 

**Kitten:** shit man sophomore and junior year taehyung was lowkey terrifying and he was one of my best friends 

**MinMin:** he always seemed normal when we skyped?? 

**Baby:** high school taehyung was a sight to see 

**Baby:** boi was hot lmao 

**hoe:** he still is hot wtf u on 

**Baby:** true 

**Taetertot:** was i realie scary? 

**Taetertot:** is that y nobodi talkd 2 me 

**Kitten:** yeah basically 

**golden boi:** u were hot and didn't speak much so they thought u had that bad boy vibe going on but u really just didn't speak english too well 

**Baby:** plus you hung out with me 

**Baby:** like everyone knew we fucked shit up together 

**Taetertot:** fairs 

**Taetertot:** lmao that time we rigged a cafeteria table to catch fire 

**Kitten:** if i wasn't there i wouldn't have believed it 

**golden boi:** was that with the guy who harassed the girl in the library 

**Baby:** yeah we had some fun 

**Baby:** they couldn't legally pin it on us but we got hella detention 

**MinMin:** fuck 

**MinMin:** help why isn't there a code for this 

**MinMin:** there's a creeper 

**MinMin:** i think i'm being followed its so dark there aren't many streetlights 

**Baby:** what the fuck do you mean 

**hoe:** where are you im heading out now 

**MinMin:** can we get that high school taehyung down to the pizza place on tyler?? i'm passing it now 

**Kitten:** why the fuck are you all the way over there i'm coming now 

**Baby:** fuck i'm twenty minutes away i'll be in the subway at the end of north wait for me they're open all night 

**Taetertot:** im in the bookstore on north take the next right and follow it down until you get to north and then turn right if i don't get there first 

**Taetertot:** its really dark until you get to north so run 

**MinMin:** okay 

**golden boi:** can you see what he looks like? there's a guy who was harassing jihoon a couple days ago in broad daylight 

**golden boi:** mingyu had to dip out of class and meet him with some friends 

**Kitten:** he's probably running to north by now i'm driving with jin 

**Kitten:** meet at the subway yoongi was talking about 

**hoe:** just got off the bus at the subway tae and jimin aren't here yet i'm heading down the street 

**Kitten:** keep us updated we're about to park we'll follow 

**hoe:** i walked all the way to the street jimin should have been running down 

**hoe:** nobody's here 

**Kitten:** fuck we're running 

**golden boi:** holy shit 

**golden boi:** jimin is strong 

**golden boi:** tae should be with him 

**golden boi:** i swear to fuck if something happens 

**Baby:** i found them 

**Baby:** about to code red and code blue 

**Baby:** tae and jimin just came out of an alley 

**Baby:** jimins shirt is ripped but he's basically fine he's calling the cops 

**Baby:** tae is pissed as fuck 

**Baby:** bois a badass tho 

**Baby:** casually standing over an unconscious bitch holding his own shirt over a stab wound lmao 

**hoe:** what fucking alley 

**hoe:** the one by the theater? 

**hoe:** nvm i see you 

**golden boi:** hurry namjoon tae literally got stabbed 

**golden boi:** he doesn't seem to really be feeling it tho?? 

**Taetertot:** adrenaline 

**Taetertot:** i can't feel shit rn lmao 

**Taetertot:** cops are here go wait in the coffee shop joon they won't want more ppl here 

**Kitten:** we'll go grab the car 

**Kitten:** then we can drive whoever isn't in the ambulance to the hospital 

**hoe:** i'll go in with tae 

**hoe:** if they let me idk they may just stick jimin in the same ambulance 

**hoe:** maybe it's better that way 

**Taetertot:** i definitely need some stitches 

**Taetertot:** and fluids lmao i've lost a bit of blood 

**Taetertot:** ambulance is here 

**Taetertot:** lmao it's jarrod and emily they're shook for it to be me i love them they're rlly good coworkers 

**Taetertot:** emily is yelling at me to get off my phone otherwise she'll stab my other arm so peace 

**golden boi:** i'll keep u guys updated 

**golden boi:** jimin wants to go with tae so hobi will be with the rest of us 

**golden boi:** the guys in custody they're working on getting the video from the theaters security system but they'll definitely be able to charge him 

**golden boi:** i think they're going to use these texts as evidence we'll see you later 

**Daddy <3:** alright we're in the coffee shop we'll buy everyone drinks while we wait


	22. way too long (hold on)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright so this one and the next one are both rlly short and boring so u can have them both at the same time  
> i'm going to work on bringing the meme back for the next chapters guys i promise  
> shop week is a mess we had cpr baby dolls flying around the room like the whole week and we weren't even doing cpr like we did that two years ago we're not using those things until we get re certified at the end of the year  
> we had to make commercials for fake long term care facilities we had girls ripping off johnnies and iv's taped on people's arms and one girl was a swearing grandma it was aesthetics
> 
> anyways
> 
> give me ideas pls i need them
> 
> i'll use them all
> 
> pls i'm begging 
> 
> i can even try sexting if that's what u want  
> like more accidental sexts to the group chat??  
> serious sexts between the couples??  
> do you not want that at all????  
> more mingyu??  
> less mingyu????
> 
> let me know i'm begging you
> 
>  
> 
> as always please leave comments i'm actually begging you i'm such a lonely lesbian
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> flow -- cage the elephant

**[Chat: the uglies]**

**golden boi:** jimin taetae we're on our way 

**MinMin:** okay they're taking taetae into surgery to fix his shoulder 

**hoe:** shit is he going to be okay 

**hoe:** im freaking tf out man 

**MinMin:** he should be fine they just have to repair the muscle or something 

**MinMin:** it didn't nick an artery so he's lucky 

**Kitten:** jin says that we're lucky that he wasn't allowed on the scene otherwise they'd be missing the dumbass who decided to assault two of his kids 

**Baby:** are you okay jiminie 

**Baby:** im so sorry i couldn't stop that 

**MinMin:** it's okay baby we would've been fine if he didn't have a knife 

**MinMin:** i was going to confront him myself if he tried to grab me but there was suddenly a knife to my throats and my shirt was ripped 

**golden boi:** im gonna kill someone 

**golden boi:** i can't believe taes in surgery 

**golden boi:** boi got stabbed this isn't okay 

**hoe:** my boyfriend just got stabbed shit i'm going to cry 

**Kitten:** ill call his mom i don't think they'd have a korean translator on hand 

**MinMin:** i tried but they wouldn't let me until after my check up and now they've already done it 

**MinMin:** since im not family im not allowed to 

**Baby:** tbh listening to him explain this to taes mom is heartbreaking 

**Baby:** i can hear her crying on the other line 

**Baby:** oh no 

**hoe:** wow now with yoongi that makes all of us crying 

**MinMin:** i've been crying since i realized there was a knife in my best friend 

**golden boi:** it's not okay tae can't get hurt more that shouldn't happen 

**golden boi:** he's been through so much 

**hoe:** we're pulling in 

**hoe:** taes mom is on the way 

**hoe:** oh shit 

**hoe:** i didn't want the first time i meet my boyfriends parents to be because he got stabbed 

**Daddy <3:** we're about to check in let the nurses know you're expecting company 

**Daddy <3:** we love you jiminie 

\-- 

**hoe:** lmao guess who's ready to sleep in the waiting room 

**hoe:** go home ill let you know when he wakes up 

**Baby:** there's a free chair in minnie's room 

**hoe:** nah you guys deserve some alone time 

**hoe:** skype his parents i know they're worried 

**golden boi:** aww i love mins parents 

**golden boi:** his mom sends me candy 

**hoe:** i finally got taes mom agree to go home for now as long as i tell her as soon as we're allowed to see him 

**Daddy <3:** ill bring you something to eat after dropping everyone else off 

**hoe:** nah it's okay get some sleep i got some shitty coffee i'm not really hungry 

**hoe:** it's just a waiting game until he wakes up 

**golden boi:** i hope its soon 

**Daddy <3:** are you sure? it's not a problem 

**hoe:** im sure just sleep 

**hoe:** jimin is already passed out at least he only has to stay for tonight 

**Daddy <3:** joonie is out too 

**golden boi:** namjoonies mom started crying when i told her 

**golden boi:** all our parents love tae so much 

**[Baby has changed the chat name to: Support TaeTae 2k17]**

\--

**Taetertot:** guess who's back bitches


	23. baby, if you don't take your medication (we won't sleep for days)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> give me ideas pls i need them
> 
> i'll use them all
> 
> pls i'm begging
> 
> i can even try sexting if that's what u want  
> like more accidental sexts to the group chat??  
> serious sexts between the couples??  
> do you not want that at all????  
> more mingyu??  
> less mingyu????
> 
> let me know i'm begging you
> 
>  
> 
> as always please leave comments i'm actually begging you i'm such a lonely lesbian
> 
>  
> 
> W.A.M.S. -- fall out boy

**[Chat: Support Taetae 2k17]**

**Taetertot:** aww yoongs that chat name is so cute 

**Taetertot:** ily 

**Taetertot:** boi i know it's like 4 am but is everyone rlly asleep 

**Taetertot:** why tf is hobi sleeping in a waiting room 

**Taetertot:** imma tell a nurse to wake him up by scaring him and get his ass in here 

**hoe:** whY WOULD U DO THAT 

**hoe:** I JUST HAD A HEART ATTACK 

**hoe:** be at ur room in a second brb i'm calling ur mom 

**Taetertot:** get in here so i can kiss u thx 

**Taetertot:** lmao nvm my lips r super chapped i forgot this always happens man 

**Taetertot:** AWW GUYS ITS 4:37 AM AND HOSEOK JUST TOLD ME HE LOVED ME IM CRYINGGGGGG 

**hoe:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**hoe:** wow i'm crying too it's been like just under a year???? but wow 

**hoe:** im whipped af 

**Daddy <3:** omfg that's so cute?? 

**Daddy <3:** anyways i'm going to go around and wake everyone up and we'll be heading right there 

**Daddy <3:** ily taetae 

**Taetertot:** ily2 jin im fine i promise 

**MinMin:** tae im cryinggg 

**MinMin:** i need to wake up yoongi brb 

**Baby:** he threw a shoe at me 

**Kitten:** hobi and tae just told each other that they love each other 

**Kitten:** and jimin and yoongi throw shoes at each other 

**Kitten:** tbh same 

**golden boi:** nah i'm p sure jin doesn't throw shoes at u he spanks u instead 

**MinMin:** rip 

**Kitten:** i can't even deny it 

**golden boi:** anyways as u can tell we're on our way to the hospital 

**golden boi:** i haven't spent so much time in the hospital since that time yoongs decided to try sleeping on the back of a dirt bike 

**Kitten:** that was a mess 

**Taetertot:** true lmao i hit one little bump and he went flying 

**golden boi:** tae you went off a dirt pile wtf do u mean one little jump 

**Baby:** all that matters is that he still completed his trick 

**Baby:** like tbh 

**Baby:** he just bit me can i get a refund on him?? 

**Kitten:** jin says you'd have to ask mama kim 

**Baby:** well guess who just arrived 

**hoe:** oh my god he literally asked for a refund and mama kim threw him a quarter and hit both of their heads with a magazine


	24. it's a sign (that someone loves me)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so this was supposed to be up days ago  
> it was also supposed to be a lot longer  
> i'm so sorry 
> 
> but i got a bunch of requests that i used in this chapter!!!!! i have a lot of pics in it too  
> please keep sending in requests i will honestly use them all
> 
> there's not enough jimin in this chapter i'm sorry
> 
> you don't realize how close you have to be to someone in order to help them move between a bed or chair/wheelchair or just help them up in general until you actually do it man  
> it's a mess we had a physical therapist teach us
> 
> i also have to go get a shot tomorrow for my tuberculosis test so that i can go out in my clinical hours
> 
>  
> 
> NOTE: IF ANYONE SAW THAT IN THE CHAPTER WITH THE FIGHT THAT I HAD THEM IN KOREA I WENT BACK AND I CHANGED THAT  
> I FORGOT THAT I WANTED IT TO BE IN AMERICA  
> SO THEYRE IN NEW YORK CITY  
> JIN WAS IS ALBANY  
> does albany make sense for the place where he was??? idk i'm an east coast girl but a MA girl not an NY girl i've been in NCY like three times in my whole life time (i think i'm actually going again this month to fuckin see Day6 hell yeah) and albany like five times idk i know that's where i saw twenty one pilots so????
> 
>  
> 
> please leave comments and requests i answer everything!!!
> 
>  
> 
> don't swallow the cap -- the national

**[Chat: $2 hoes]**

**main hoe(seok):** i can't believe i'm back in korea

 **main hoe(seok):** like i've been here for like the whole summer

 **main hoe(seok):** but still

 **dick daddy:** i can't believe my own children went to korea without me

 **dick daddy:** alright who changed my name

 **yoongs dom:** lmao me jin

 **dick daddy:** choke on a dick

 **yoongs dom:** aight baby meet me behind starbucks

 **s(y)ubs(y)ub:** thats a lil gay minnie

 **yoongs dom:** yoongi you're gay

 **yoongs dom:** im gay

 **yoongs dom:** we're dating

 **s(y)ubs(y)ub:** oh yeah lmao on my way

 **kitty:** hobi how's gwangju

 **main hoe(seok):** it's nice

 **main hoe(seok):** i missed my grandparents

 **main hoe(seok):** grandmas been putting bows in mickeys fur it's so cute

 **main hoe(seok):** look at him

**main hoe(seok):**

**child:** i can't believe one of my best friends is out there

 **child:** on a farm in daegu

 **child:** with a god damn broken phone

 **kitty:** when are you guys supposed to come back tho hobi

 **main hoe(seok):** im leaving here tomorrow, going up to daegu, spending a couple days up there, and then we're both heading back here for a couple days before flying home together

 **main hoe(seok):** so we'll be back on the 29th

 **s(y)ubs(y)ub:** is he still planning on bringing soonshim over here now that he has enough money

 **main hoe(seok):** pretty sure

 **main hoe(seok):** soonshimie and mickey are going to be best friends they're the best dogs

 **s(y)ubs(y)ub:** holly begs to differ

**s(y)ubs(y)ub:**

**dick daddy:**

**child:** i can't believe the biggest daddy has the smallest dog

 **child:** lmao that's a lie

 **child:** look at my baby

**child:**

**kitty:** lmaooo

 **kitty:** gureum is so ugly i love him

 **kitty:** rapmon is so handsome

 **kitty :**

**main hoe(seok):** that dog literally hates you

 **main hoe(seok):** anyways im going to bed its like 3am lmao

 **dick daddy:** i forgot about the time zone differences

 **dick daddy:** this is what happens when you grow up in america

 **kitty:** me too tbh

 **s(y)ubs(y)ub:** same

 **child:** stop texting us when jimin has his mouth on your dick

 **s(y)ubs(y)ub:** oh wow gtg

 **s(y)ubs(y)ub:** OH MY GOD ACTUALLY GTG

 **kitty:** oh my god they got caught

 **kitty:** they got caught didn't they

 **yoongs dom:** CODE ORANGE

 **yoongs dom:** WE RUNNIN

 **s(y)ubs(y)ub:** MY DICK IS FLAPPING IN THE WIND

 **s(y)ubs(y)ub:** lmao i ducked behind a mcdonald's to shove it back in

 **s(y)ubs(y)ub:** scared some old lady in a car 

 

\--

 

 **yoongs dom:** so i haven't heard from tae in two months and i just got a text saying "i live bithc" with this

**yoongs dom:**

**yoongs dom:** i love my best friend

 **prostate examiner:** ily2 jimin

 **main hoe(seok):** my boyfriend is so cute look at him

**main hoe(seok):**

**s(y)ubs(y)ub:** god is real and he loves me

 **child:** how is this hot

 **child:** like he has a tie on his head

 **child:** but it's fucking hot

 **dick daddy:** wow i slut dropped

 **kitty:** looks like that are the reason i wanted him to fuck me

 **prostate examiner:** then let's do it joonie since u know even my boyfriend won't touch me

 **main hoe(seok):** we're in the middle of a mall taehyung

 **prostate examiner:** and??

 **prostate examiner:** im wearing black lace panties

 **main hoe(seok):** bathroom.

 **main hoe(seok):** now.

 **yoongs dom:** kinky

 **child:** i don't need to see this

\--

 **prostate examiner:** grandmama jung chose me over hobi i love life

 **main hoe(seok):** she used to be so conservative

 **main hoe(seok):** didn't like the idea of gays very much

 **main hoe(seok):** until she met tae

 **main hoe(seok):** she loves him it's ridiculous

 **yoongs dom:** family members always love tae

 **kitty:** always

 **s(y)ubs(y)ub:** literally always

 **dick daddy:** every single time

 **child:** lmao he never met my parents

 **main hoe(seok):** mine neither

 **dick daddy:** wait really

 **dick daddy:** why not

 **main hoe(seok):** i don't talk to them ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **child:** me too hobi

 

\--

 

 **prostate examiner:** all y'all are wack soonshim is the prettiest

**prostate examiner:**


	25. have you ever wanted (to disappear)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly this chapter sucks  
> i haven’t updated in forever i’m so sorry  
> anyways i’m back  
> with drama  
> it’s just going to get worse
> 
> remember when this was supposed to be a crackfic and now it’s got plot??
> 
> i’m sorry
> 
> anyways codes
> 
> i love the codes
> 
>  
> 
> please comment ilysm comments make my day i love talking to you guys
> 
> please give me more chapter ideas too! what do you want to see in this fic???? more plot???? more crack???? dRaMa??????
> 
>  
> 
> 20 dollar nose bleed — fall out boy

**[Chat: $2 hoes]**

**child:** holy shit 

**child:** code purple 

**yoongs dom:** What’s going on Jeongguk? 

**prostate examiner:** get your stuff together kid i’ll be there in ten 

**prostate examiner:** i can bring you wherever you need to go but you gotta tell me what’s up 

**main hoe(seok):** i know someone who can take you in for a little while 

**main hoe(seok):** an old friend about three hours away 

**dick daddy:** jeon why do you need to get out 

**s(y)ubs(y)ub:** did they find you guk? 

**child:** not yet 

**kitty:** they’re looking 

**child:** getting pretty damn close 

**kitty:** they showed up at my parents new place 

**child:** i can’t be here when they find my place 

**prostate examiner:** i’m outside the building get your shit out here quick 

**dick daddy:** what’s going on 

**dick daddy:** who’s looking for you 

**yoongs dom:** you don’t mean who I think you mean, right?? 

**main hoe(seok):** okay my friends preparing a room but you’ve gotta let her know what’s going on too 

**main hoe(seok):** i’ll come with for the drive i know an obscure route 

**prostate examiner:** my mom just called 

**prostate examiner:** he showed up at the house a second ago 

**prostate examiner:** he’s getting closer and we need to get the fuck out of here 

**child:** coming down 

**child:** namjoon tae yoongi and jimin know because they were there for it 

**child:** i don’t talk to my parents 

**child:** my stepdads am abusive fuck and i ran away when i was 16 

**dick daddy:** holy shit 

**child:** i was homeless for a while 

**child:** slept in parks and used public bathrooms to wash up for school 

**child:** until the guys found out a couple months later 

**child:** i’ve been circulating between staying with them and working to pay for school when i was able to get the dorm 

**child:** they’re looking for me now and i can’t let them find me 

**dick daddy:** let me know if you need anything 

**dick daddy:** i have the day off on friday send me the address and i can come down 

**dick daddy:** my uncle the one who helped you out after the last fight that landed you guys in jail can help 

**dick daddy:** we can get you a restraining order 

**child:** please 

**child:** you know i don’t like asking for things 

**child:** but i can’t live like this anymore 

**main hoe(seok):** you’re in luck jeon 

**main hoe(seok):** i know how to hide from people 

**main hoe(seok):** and the friend you’re going to stay with knows how to hide people 

**main hoe(seok):** my parents want me dead 

**child:** what the fuck 

**child:** what do you mean your parents want you dead? 

**main hoe(seok):** i’m the youngest child of the jungs 

**main hoe(seok):** i managed to get out of there when i was seventeen 

**main hoe(seok):** basically been on the run since 

**main hoe(seok):** stayed with my grandparents for a tiny bit 

**main hoe(seok):** stayed with my friend 

**main hoe(seok):** tried my best not to get killed 

**dick daddy:** holy shit 

**dick daddy:** join and i are freaking out 

**dick daddy:** we’ll package up a bunch of foo and necessities for you guk 

**dick daddy:** just worry about getting yourself out of there 

**yoongs dom:** just got a call from y old neighbor 

**yoongs dom:** there was some “sketchy guy acting all shady” asking about us 

**yoongs dom:** she thought she’d give me a heads up 

**main hoe(seok):** alright the three of us are on the road we’re getting out of town now 

**kitty:** i can’t believe hes back 

**kitty:** i’m so sorry we couldn’t protect you jeongguk 

**kitty:** i swear i’ll try harder to protect both you and hoseok 

**child:** namjoon it’s alright i promise 

**child:** i never expected you to save me 

**child:** you’ve already done so much to help me 

**child:** im honestly so thankful 

**main hoe(seok):** don’t worry so much joonie 

**main hoe(seok):** its not your fault 

**main hoe(seok):** jeonggukie and i are going to be in this together now


	26. when i wake up (i’m afraid)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i wanted to drag out the drama  
> and i’m a slut for jeongguk and mingyu being dorks
> 
> gets a lil serious
> 
> there was something that i wanted to make a note of but i forgot
> 
> edit:// so these texts start from like before/just a little after the whole story starts up to the present and the more — there are the longer time there is between the conversations
> 
>  
> 
> a lot of this come from tumblr text things ngl i just changed them to fit the story
> 
>  
> 
> i’m going to see and meet day6 tomorrow im not okay i think i’m vibrating out of my skin
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> please leave comments and requests/chapter ideas i literally get so emo at every comment it’s not even funny i love you guys so much????
> 
>  
> 
> afraid — the neighborhood

**[Chat: stop]**

**Mingyu:** hey beautiful 

**jeongguk:** please don’t text me things like that 

**Mingyu:** why not 

**Mingyu:** i’m only saying the truth 

**jeongguk:** no 

**jeongguk:** you’re not 

**jeongguk:** i’m not beautiful i’m not amazing i’m not perfect 

**jeongguk:** and i’m not going to stick around and get my hopes up only for you to realize that 

**Mingyu:** woah woah woah 

**Mingyu:** you fucking stop right there 

**Mingyu:** jeongguk 

**Mingyu:** you are 

**Mingyu:** you’re so fucking gorgeous i can barely take my fucking eyes off of you 

**Mingyu:** and holy shit you’re literally the kindest person i’ve ever met you’re so fucking shy and cute and you always help everyone 

**Mingyu:** jihoon is one of my best friends 

**Mingyu:** his cousin tells him everything about the vandalism’s 

**Mingyu:** i know you destroy all that shit to help people so don’t even try to use that against yourself 

**jeongguk:** look mingyu i gotta go 

**jeongguk:** please stop 

— — 

**Mingyu:** morning gorgeous, do you maybe want to hang out later? 

**jeongguk:** mingyu im not gorgeous 

**jeongguk:** i don’t think hanging out is the best idea all things considered 

**Mingyu:** I’m sorry. 

**Mingyu:** I’ll stop with the compliments if they make you uncomfortable 

**jeongguk:** It’s not even just the compliments, Mingyu. 

**jeongguk:** It’s the fact that you seem to have all of these unrealistic expectations of me 

**jeongguk:** I don’t want to see you when all of those expectations will inevitably come crumbling down 

**jeongguk:** Do you understand? 

**jeongguk:** I don’t want to be left alone in the rubble, Mingyu 

**Mingyu:** Shit Jeongguk 

**Mingyu:** Who did this to you? 

**Mingyu:** Who seriously fucked you up so bad, both emotionally and mentally that you’ve completely shut down anyone who tries to get close to you? I’ve seen you with others, you shy away, you refuse every time you’re made out to be exactly what you are- extraordinary. You don’t talk about your feelings, you don’t let yourself be complimented. You push the honest people away and let the negative ones in. The only good people I’ve ever seen you let in is Taehyung and all them. You refuse to open up and let anyone else love or care about you. 

**Mingyu:** Who fucking did this to you, Jeongguk? 

**jeongguk:** Mingyu 

**jeongguk:** Look okay? I’m scared. And I’m admitting it. 

**jeongguk:** Everything about this fucking scares me 

**jeongguk:** You swear so rarely I’m in shock ngl 

**jeongguk:** but anyways 

**jeongguk:** You’re not ready fuck i’m not ready 

**jeongguk:** i’m so fucked up and you already know this 

**jeongguk:** But you’re so convinced that I’m some kind of saint 

**jeongguk:** And I’m not 

**jeongguk:** I’m just a regular guy, a regular, fucked up, guy 

**jeongguk:** And you can’t fix me. 

**Mingyu:** That’s where you’re wrong, Jeongguk 

**Mingyu:** I’ve never thought of you as a saint 

**Mingyu:** And I’m not trying to fix you 

**Mingyu:** I want to be there for you, yes, but i don’t want to make you change 

**Mingyu:** I want to be there for all of your ups and downs and I want you to be happy 

**Mingyu:** I want to make you happy and I want you to be okay but I know I’m not going to magically fix you 

**Mingyu:** I want all of you, Jeongguk 

**Mingyu:** I want to be with you 

**jeongguk:** i can’t deal with this right now 

**jeongguk:** i’ll talk to you in a few days okay? 

**jeongguk:** i’m sorry. 

— 

**jeongguk:** i actually 

**jeongguk:** i had fun today 

**Mingyu:** i’m glad 

**Mingyu:** so did i 

**Mingyu:** Would you consider saying yes to doing it again? 

**jeongguk:** I think I would. 

— — 

**[Mingyu has changed jeongguk’s name to coconut head]**

**coconut head:** fuck you 

**coconut head:** i knew i shouldn’t have shown you those pictures 

**[coconut head has changed Mingyu’s name to dog fucker]**

**dog fucker:** real mature 

**coconut head:** says the one who changed my name to coconut head 

**dog fucker:** high school was not nice to you guys huh 

**dog fucker:** tbh tae looked fine 

**dog fucker:** namjoon had fucking perm 

**dog fucker:** yoongi looked dead inside but that’s nothing new ngl 

**dog fucker:** and you were a fucking coconut 

**coconut head:** a god damn good looking coconut fuck you 

**dog fucker:** if you say so 

— 

**[coconut head has changed dog fucker’s name to Gyu]**

**[coconut head has changed coconut head’s name to Guk]**

**[coconut head has changed the chat name to Guk & Gyu]**

**Gyu:** ???? 

**Guk:** aight so 

**Guk:** do you still mean what you said????? 

**Gyu:** i’ve said a lot of stuff jeonggukkie 

**Guk:** the stuff when i wouldn’t talk to you or let you compliment me 

**Gyu:** do i still like you? 

**Guk:** yeah that 

**Gyu:** yes i do 

**Guk:** aight cool 

**Gyu:** and?? 

**Guk:** god dammit mingyu 

**Guk:** let me sleep in your stupid t-shirt’s and hold your dumb hand you stupid bitch 

**Gyu:** oh man holy shit 

**Gyu:** only if i’m allowed to touch your butt and kiss your ugly face 

**Guk:** oh fuck you 

**Guk:** but deal 

— 

**Guk:** i’m not gay but come cuddle with me and kiss my neck 

**Gyu:** are you flirting with me 

**Guk:** i’m fuckin trying to 

**Gyu:** cool on my way 

— 

**Guk:** don’t panic ik we’ve only been dating a month but my friends already found out 

**Gyu:** tbh i don’t really care that they know but how did they find out 

**Guk:** they saw us making out at the club 

**Gyu:** what can i say it was a fun time 

**Guk:** and then cuddling in the courtyard 

**Gyu:** you’re cute 

**Gyu:** speaking of the club,,,,, 

**Gyu:** when are you going to wear those fishnets again 

**Guk:** shut up you perv 

**Gyu:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

— — — 

**Guk:** i’m going to have to cancel date night for a while gyu 

**Gyu:** no worries, maybe saturday? 

**Guk:** no uh 

**Guk:** it’s gonna be a while 

**Gyu:** what do you mean 

**Guk:** my parents found me 

**Gyu:** Are you fucking serious? Where are you? Are you okay??? 

**Guk:** yeah i’m fine i’m somewhere in massachusetts right now hiding out with one of hobis friends 

**Gyu:** Oh shit Jeonggukkie 

**Gyu:** Promise me you’ll stay safe, take as long as you need 

**Guk:** I’ll try, but it may be a while until i can come home 

**Gyu:** I’ll wait for you 

**Guk:** but why 

**Gyu:** Because that’s what people do when they’re in love, stupid. They wait. 

**Guk:** wow i’m not sobbing it’s just raining on my face 

**Gyu:** you’re adorable 

— 

**Guk:** i might be a little bit in love with you, is that okay? 

**Gyu:** hella


	27. ive been facing trouble (almost all my life)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowee okay  
> i’ve been getting so many comments it’s amazing i love you guys?????  
> i’m sobbing
> 
> so we started our clinical hours at school and holy shit is this year going to kick my ass  
> we start bathing and then feeding next week i think?? idk but it’s going to be a mess i hate the people in my class
> 
> anyways i put off updating this bc i wanted to add onto it but it’s 1am on a sunday and i’ve given up
> 
> how was all ya’lls halloween?? i only got told be six people that i’m too old to trick or treat anymore but like shit bitch free candy  
> plus it gave me an excuse to wear a giant bunny head and bathrobe with slippers in public  
> the head gave me another like half foot i was literally 6’6 it was great
> 
>  
> 
> give me more comments i’m needy and love you guys  
> give me ideas  
> ily
> 
>  
> 
> trouble — cage the elephant
> 
>  
> 
> EDIT:// SO I WROTE THIS ONESHOT A LITTLE WHILE BACK AND IT CAN BE FOR LITERALLY ANY SHIP YOU WANT THERE ARE NO NAMES USED ITS LIKE A COLLECTION OF MOMENTS AND YOU SHOULD GO READ IT PLEASE :)))

**[Chat:** **$2 hoes]**

**[yoongs dom has changed their name to MiniMin]**

**MiniMin:** lets make this visitor appropriate okay? we should probably add the people involved with gukkie’s safety

**[main hoe(seok) has changed their name to hopi]**

**[prostate examiner has changed their name to rip phillip]**

**s(y)ubs(y)ub:** FUCK

 **s(y)ubs(y)ub:** PHILLIP

 **s(y)ubs(y)ub:** I LOVED HIM LIKE A SON

 **s(y)ubs(y)ub:** and nah they should know what they’re getting into with me lmao

**[kitty has changed their name to namu]**

**namu:** then

**[namu has changed s(y)ubs(y)ubs name to asshole]**

**asshole:** touché

**[dick daddy has changed his name to jinnie]**

**[child has changed their name to guk]**

**[guk has added Kim Mingyu to the chat]**

**[guk has added Sophia Mason to the chat]**

**jinnie:** behave children

 **asshole:** anything for u daddy

 **rip phillip:** to cut a long fucking story short i shoved a whole bag of jelly beans up my ass

**[Kim Mingyu has changed their name to gyu]**

**gyu:** sorry guk i just watched gd’s untitled, 2014 and i’m sexually attracted to Kwon Jiyong

 **guk:** tbh same

**[Sophia Mason has changed their name to soph]**

**soph:** idk what this is but i’m already liking it lmao

**[hopi has changed the chat name to JJK PROTECTION SQUAD]**

**soph:** J-HOOOOOOPE

 **soph:** and hell yea i can get behind this i’ve known the kid for less than a day and i would already kill someone if the touched him

 **hopi:** soph ily we’re coming back with mcdonald’s u still like the same right

 **soph:** yea thx boo

 **rip phillip:** j-hope?

 **hopi:** boi does that bring back memories

 **hopi:** i used to be on a dance team and that’s what they called me

 **soph:** he wasn’t just in the dance team he was the captain

 **rip phillip:** speaking of which,,,,,,,

 **rip phillip:** we’ve been dating for like a bit over a year and i still haven’t seen you dance yet

 **rip phillip:** i’ve seen you correct others but never seen you actually dance

 **soph:** well shit hobi didn’t tell me you two were together omg

 **soph:** that’s adorable

 **soph:** i need couple selfies pls

**hopi:**

**jinnie:** waitwaitwait no me and namjoon is are cuter my kitten is adorable

**jinnie:**

**MiniMin:** boi

 **MiniMin:** i’m sorry but have u seen my bf

**MiniMin:**

**gyu:** lmao i know i have and i can say mines cuter

**gyu:**

**guk:** omg

 **namu:** wow i’m not sobbing or anything

 **asshole:** i swear it’s just raining on my face

 **hopi:** have none of ya’ll seen my beautiful boyfriend

**hopi:**

**rip phillip:** oh wow

 **rip phillip:** you just earned a blowjob when we get back to the car

 **hopi:** fuck yea

 **guk:** i think all the tops just earned a blowjob from their significant other

 **namu:** yea

 **asshole:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **asshole:** if he ate my ass he’d earn more

 **soph:** what the fuck

 **soph:** did i just get thrown into a chat of oversharing gays

 **asshole:** yea basically

 **soph:** well shit i guess i fit right in

 **soph:** my gf is fucking amazing lmao


	28. steady (watch me navigate)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow okay so
> 
> first off  
> is anyone going to the MA Skills USA Fall Leadership Conference this weekend????? i’ll be the rlly tall girl with short pink/blonde hair and blue and silver glasses from taconic high pls find me and talk to me  
> nobody know i write fanfiction tho tbh so that’ll be a mess
> 
> second  
> it’s fucking terrifying to feed a resident but i already love  
> my residents sm it’s ridiculous
> 
> third AND MOST IMPORTANT  
> PLEASE READ THIS:  
> this might be one of the final arcs for this story?? i’m not rlly sure what else to do and i already know how i’m going to end this i just don’t really know what to do first  
> so  
> request  
> please  
> otherwise i’ll be ending it within like ten chapters
> 
>  
> 
> pls leave me comments  
> hit me up if u’ll be at fall state  
> i don’t bite i promise  
> (i mean unless u ask i’m a single lesbian sooo)
> 
>  
> 
> feel good inc — gorillaz

**[JJK PROTECTION SQUAD]**

 

 **MiniMin:** so tell me how

 **MiniMin:** my bro taehyung

 **MiniMin:** was brushing and playing with my hair

 **MiniMin:** and said in the softest most sweet voice

 **MiniMin:** “do you want to sing any song while i do this? it’s really nice don’t you think?”

 **MiniMin:** i wanted to cry

 **rip phillip:** its instinct at his point tbh

 **rip phillip:** its rlly soothing for them

 **jinnie:** my son,,,,,,,

 **jinnie:** so pure

 **asshole:** my boy

 **asshole:** the sweetest boy

 **asshole:** the purest

 **soph:** that’s rlly cute tbh but???

 **hopi:** i have the cutest bf

 **hopi:** taetaes a nursing student

 **hopi:** he works with mainly dementia patients

 **soph:** oH

 **soph:** taes a nurse too??????

 **soph:** :’)))

 **soph:** my boy

 **soph:** dm me boi do i have some stories about dementia residents

 **soph:** they’re so cute i love them

 **rip phillip:** omg yes

 **rip phillip:** same

 **rip phillip:** i love all my residents sm

 **rip phillip:** u just gotta learn what makes them tick and what soothes them

 **namu:** look @ my son and new daughter

 **namu:** bonding over being beautiful humans

 **rip phillip:** bitch i ain’t callin u mommy bye

 **namu:** i-

 

-

-

 

**[JJK PROTECTION SQUAD]**

 

 **soph:** waaaaaiiiitttt

 **gyu:** yo

 **soph:** i’ve seen the couple pics

 **soph:** butt who’s who

 **soph:** tbh

**namu:**

**namu:** srry for looking like that ;)))

 **jinnie:** joon wtf how r u so beautiful

 **jinnie:** i’m dying

 **soph:** rip

 **soph:** but omg joonie ur so pretty wtf

**jinnie:**

**rip phillip:** ik u know me

 **rip phillip:** but i like taking pictures

**rip phillip:**

**rip phillip:** hi

 **soph:** jiN

 **soph:** WORLDWIDE HANDSOME

 **soph:** that’s a shitty picture but it looks?????? so good??????

 **asshole:** tae is killing the game

 **asshole:** i took a pic but?? i look like a twink??

 **asshole:** but wtvr i guess

**asshole:**

**MiniMin:** wow look at that

 **MiniMin:** actual art

 **MiniMin:** come over mine

 **asshole:** later

 **asshole:** i got a surprise check ur dms

 **MiniMin:** BOI IM EATING GOOD TONIGHT

 **MiniMin:** nyway

**MiniMin:**

**gyu:** twelve attempts at selfies later

**gyu:**

**gyu:** boi i don’t wanna see that shit

 **MiniMin:** just bc u can’t see ur bf

 **gyu:** can’t deny

 **soph:** omg yoongi ur such a twink

 **soph:** damn jimin looking good

 **soph:** gYU

 **soph:** MINGYU KIM

 **soph:** boi hoed someone like jeongguk catch hold of u

 **soph:** *how’d

 **soph:** not rlly tbh lmao

**hopi:**

**hopi:** was poppin

 **soph:** y o

 **soph:** that ain’t hoseok jung

 **soph:** that ain’t even j-hope

 **soph:** thats fuckin jay

 **hopi:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **hopi:** omfg jay again

 **hopi:** story time: we took a trip to LA with the dance crew and soph was kinda like our manager

 **hopi:** and idk

 **hopi:** i guess i was acting like a fuckboy

 **hopi:** so everyone started calling me jay

 **rip phillip:** that’s fucking hot tbh

**guk:**

**guk:** hi

 **guk:** gyu omg

 **guk:** skype me ;))))

 **soph:** my son looking good

 **soph:** NOT IN MY HOUSE YOU HEATHENS

 **jinnie:** bitch no

 **jinnie:** these are my god damn children

 **jinnie:** and you are now one of them

 

—

 

**[JJK PROTECTION SQUAD]**

 

 **gyu:** wait i got one question tbh

 **gyu:** @ tae

 **gyu:** who tf is phillip

 **gyu:** *with respect

 **gyu:** who tf is phillip

 **guk:** nO

 **guk:** THAS NOT A QUESTION FLR TAE

 **guk:** DONT GET BUM STARTED

 **guk:** SPAM THE C H A T

 **asshole:** ??

 **asshole:** w a i t

 **guk:** * softly * dont

 **asshole:** PHILLIP

 **asshole:** P H I L L I P

 **asshole:** I LOVED HIM

 **asshole:** I LOVED HIM LIKE A SON

 **asshole:** @ namjoon SQUARE UP HOE

 **namu:** yoongi

 **namu:** yoongi pls

 **gyu:** ??????

 

—

—

—

 

**[JJK PROTECTION SQUAD]**

 

 **jinnie:** hey taetae

 **jinnie:** ???

 **jinnie:** text me back??

 **jinnie:** wtf has anyone seen tae

 **MiniMin:** wait don’t

 **MiniMin:** don’t text tae

 **MiniMin:** taehyungies dief

 **jinnie:** ????????

 **jinnie:** jimin?????

 **jinnie:** ??????? what the fukc

 **jinnie:** what’s that supposed to mena

 **jinnie:** whe re is wveryon

 **asshole:** yo what’s up with the spam??

 **asshole:** what???

 **asshole:** jimin???????

 **jinnie:** nonononono

 **asshole:** where is everyone

 **asshole:** fuck

 **asshole:** code black

 **namu:** i’m at work what’s up

 **namu:** what the fuck

 **namu:** holy shit i’m crging

 **soph:** why the fuck did jeongguk just drop his phone and start crying

 **soph:** what the fuck is a code black

 **soph:** ?????

 **soph:** what’s up with tae?

 **jinnie:** im fckuigg sobing

 **jinnie:** code black

 **gyu:** ????

 **jinnie:** it means death

 **hopi:** wtf i was in a lecture

 **hopi:** i saw code black and fucking bolted

 **gyu:** what’s up?

 **gyu:** wait wtf

 **hopi:** what the hell is going on

 **hopi:** what the fuck happened to tae

 **hopi:** where the hell is jimin

 **hopi:** somebody fucking answer me what the fuck happened to my boyfriend

 **asshole:** i can’t find jimin

 **asshole:** he’s not replying

 **asshole:** he’s not at his place

 **asshole:** he didn’t show to work

 **asshole:** i’ve been looking everywhere

 **asshole:** hobi??

 **asshole:** hoseok???????

 **asshole:** fuck code green

 **asshole:** jimin and hoseok are MIA

 **asshole:** we don’t know what happened to tae

 **asshole:** i’m freaking the fuck out


	29. i’m sorry (that i care)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow it’s been a while
> 
> this is rlly short & shitty ur welcome
> 
> my birthday is coming up  
> i got my license  
> we’re officially moving  
> things are crazy
> 
> god i had a resident trying to run away for my full shift and then once that was done i immediately had to go take my drivers test it was so stressful i completely fucked up my parallel parking but she was in a good mood so i was still passed
> 
>  
> 
> OKAY REAL TALK ABOUT THIS FIC   
> so i said maybe ten chapters  
> i lied  
> maybe like three more and then i’ll end this  
> probably  
> maybe  
> not sure i have a bunch of ideas for other fics  
> INCLUDING A SEVENTEEN CHAT FIC THAT IS ALL CRACK  
> (some of them are gender swapped, some are trans, some are gay, some are straight, some are lesbians, jeonghan is a fucking sex fiend but aromantic its a mess i love it so much and it’s very nsfw)
> 
>  
> 
> please tell me what the fuck you want me to do  
> leave comments  
> i need some direction from my lovely readers  
> YES THATS INCLUDES YOU THAT DONT LEAVE COMMENTS, OR YOU WHO LEAVES REALLY SWEET KIND COMMENTS BUT NEVER GIVES REQUESTS
> 
> FUCKING HIT ME WITH THEM
> 
>  
> 
> feelings — hayley kiyoko

**[JJK PROTECTION SQUAD]**

**soph:** holy fucking shit

 **soph:** jesus christ im driving out there

 **soph:** jeongguk stay here okay maybe someone was on there way here

 **soph:** i’ll be there in a couple hours

 **soph:** yoongi fucking stay in touch with me

 **gyu:** gukkie

 **gyu:** stay calm okay

 **gyu:** i know you and i know you just want to come back and find them

 **gyu:** and i promise we’ll figure out what happened but please

 **gyu:** please keep yourself safe

 **gyu:** i’m going to search around the city and i’ll come to you tonight okay?

 **soph:** yoongi fucking answer me before i go insane

 **guk:** okay

 **guk:** okay i promise

 **guk:** just

 **guk:** please look

 **guk:** i can’t lose them

 **asshole:** i’m here soph

 **asshole:** i will

 **asshole:** fuck everybody search

 **asshole:** i already went to hoseoks place

 **asshole:** he wasn’t there

 **asshole:** i’ll start at the west end of the city

 **jinnie:** fuck

 **jinnie:** oh my god yoongi

 **jinnie:** i’ll go around the school and his work

 **jinnie:** then i’ll go to the north end

 **namu:** im contacting all of hobis other friends

 **namu:** all his coworkers

 **namu:** nobody has seen him since before the code was called

-

-

 **soph:** i’ve been combing the south end but there’s fucking nothing

 **guk:** what if they left the city

 **asshole:** where would they go

 **guk:** i don’t know

 **guk:** fuck where are hobi jimin and tae

 **asshole:** fucking hell

 **asshole:** meet me at taes and jimins dorm now

 **asshole:** they left in a fucking rush

 **namu:** holy shit

 **namu:** the room is a fucking mess

 **namu:** the door was still open

 **gyu:** fuck guk i found something

 **guk:** what’s going on mingyu

 **gyu:** we’re looking at it in person but i gotta let you know

 **gyu:** taes computer was still open

 **guk:** oh god what did you find

 **gyu:** he bought two tickets to daegu leaving five hours ago

 **guk:** holy shit

 **guk:** why the hell are they in daegu

 **guk:** and what happened to tae

 **namu:** we need to fucking find hoseok now

 **soph:** don’t worry

 **soph:** i think i just did

 **jinnie:** where the hell was he

 **soph:** his fist is fucking shattered

 **soph:** i think he punched a wall

 **soph:** he won’t say anything to me

 **jinnie:** fucking hell

 **jinnie:** im reading these out to the others

 **soph:** give me a second to do a check up

 **soph:** a black eye but he doesn’t seem to have a concussion

 **soph:** multiple lacerations on both arms

 **jinnie:** i think yoongis about to have a panic attack

 **soph:** bruises and soreness across abdomen

 **soph:** broken knuckles on right hand

 **soph:** bruised and bloody on left

 **soph:** he got into a fucking fight

 **jinnie:** i was wrong it wasn’t yoongi who had the panic attack it was namjoon

 **jinnie:** fucking hell i gotta go yoongi will text you

 **soph:** send me your address yoongi

 **soph:** we can all meet there


	30. you used to only dream (but now you’ll see)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit guys  
> this was supposed to go up yesterday  
> i saw the news all but immediately it was still all speculation and guesses the main source was a koreaboo article so obviously i couldn’t take it as all truth  
> i was on the edge of my seat all day waiting for SM to release their official statement  
> if anyone saw my instagram you would have seen my angry rants on my story about people disrespecting him
> 
> For those of you who do not know, the world has suffered a terrible loss, and KPop fans are in mourning. Jonghyun of Shinee passed away Monday morning. Jonghyun was truly an amazing man, and so, so very talented. Jonghyun, and all of Shinee, have truly contributed to shape how KPop is now, Shinee is just approaching their tenth anniversary since their debut, and they have suffered a terrible loss. Jonghyun supported LGBTQ+ even though South Korea isn’t quite accepting to those individuals, and pushed for the acception and help for those who suffered from mental illnesses, which is also not very accepted. He was so amazing and considerate, but unfortunately he suffered. He suffered a lot, and struggled with himself. That battle happened to be one that he lost, and he took his own life. Kim Jong-Hyun, you left is far too soon. You are always loved, and you will never be forgotten. Thank you, for being you.
> 
> You did well, Jonghyun.
> 
>  
> 
> Please join me in turning our icons to white or to the #rosesforjonghyun project to respect and mourn an amazing man.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> aurora — jonghyun
> 
>  
> 
> RIP KIM JONG-HYUN (APRIL 8, 1990 - DECEMBER 18, 2017)

**[JJK PROTECTION SQUAD]**

**gyu:** hoseok is fucking plastered 

**gyu:** he’s so fucking drunk it’s ridiculous 

**gyu:** i’m bringing him to the er what soph can do isn’t enough 

**asshole:** take care of him mingyu okay 

**asshole:** you focus on him we’ll worry about contacting tae and jimin 

**namu:** i’m going with mingyu, we should stay in pairs 

**namu:** i haven’t heard anything about jungkook a family in like two weeks we might be clear on that front but everyone be careful 

**soph:** we will 

**jinnie:** i swear to fucking god if these assholes don’t show up soon i’m going to fucking kill them myself 

**gyu:** fucking hell 

**gyu:** i just got a fucking text from jungkook 

**gyu:** it was a selfie of him in an airport 

**gyu:** captioned “sayonara bitchbaby on my way to find some fuck faces lmao” 

**asshole:** holy fucking shit 

**namu:** tbh that caption was my aesthetic mingyu dropped his phone and held his face in his hands it was everything 

**jinnie:** did u get it in video 

**namu:** actually yea i was filming hoseok drunkenly sobbing 

**jinnie:** that’s a good kitten 

\- \- 

**guk:** aight guys so i’ve landed in daegu 

**jinnie:** i can’t fucking believe you 

**jinnie:** everything g that’s going on and you go to fucking korea alone 

**asshole:** jesus christ kid be careful 

**guk:** on a train to the fuckin boonies 

**jinnie:** don’t ignore me 

**guk:** i had taes farms address bc he mailed me a picture of a coconut when he was in korea with hobi 

**guk:** wish me luck fucktards 

**jinnie:** the disrespect 

**guk:** found it 

**asshole:** holy shit i didn’t think u could do it 

**guk:** nobody’s answering the door heading around back 

**guk:** u gotta be kidding me 

**asshole:** ??? 

**guk:** i’m friends with a fuckin idiot 

**guk:** hey guys... -jimin 

**asshole:** holy shit jimin 

**asshole:** are you okay baby do i need to come out there because i can do it 

**guk:** nononono im fine i promise -jimin 

**jinnie:** MY FAVORITE SON 

**jinnie:** thank god you’re okay oh my god 

**asshole:** shit you fucking scared us jins sobbing again 

**guk:** okay so taes grandfather passed away so we came up here so that he could make it to the funeral and just be able to grieve in piece -jimin 

**asshole:** oh shit 

**jinnie:** is that what you were trying to message me 

**jinnie:** that made us all panic 

**guk:** yeah that was supposed to say taehyungs grandfather died” but we were on some of the horses bc i was trying to cheer tae up and there was a snake and my horse got freaked out and then reared up and i lost my phone and the horse then stomped on it -jimin 

**guk:** don’t text and ride kids -jimin


	31. do you understand (the things that you’ve been dreaming?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright i wanna address some things here  
> yes i know the last chapter was very anticlimactic i know i apologize  
> but honestly  
> i was planning to kill tae off  
> i was planning for jimin to be watching from the sides as taes swimming in a little lake by his grandparents house  
> and for tae to dive in deep  
> and not come up  
> his leg was going to get caught in a fishing net  
> and that was going to be the end of CALC
> 
> but then jonghyun passed  
> and i couldn’t bring myself to do it  
> everyone had already been through a whirlwind of emotions (myself included) and i couldn’t bear to bring any more of that
> 
>  
> 
> i will soon be putting out the first chapter of a seventeen chat fic please anticipate and show it some love
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> come a little closer — cage the elephant
> 
>  
> 
> EDIT:\\\\\\\\\ why didn’t anyone tell me i fucked up yoongis name gdi

**[JJK PROTECTION SQUAD]**

**MiniMin:** hey guys we’re heading home now 

**MiniMin:** all three of us 

**MiniMin:** thank you for being so patient and i know things got rough because i fucked up 

**MiniMin:** and i’m sorry i love you guys 

**jinnie:** i think we’re all just glad that the two of you are okay 

**jinnie:** god we were so worried 

**asshole:** its okay jiminie 

**asshole:** don’t leave without telling anyone 

**asshole:** please 

**asshole:** even just a quick text 

**MiniMin:** i won’t 

**MiniMin:** im sorry yoongi 

**MiniMin:** i really am 

**soph:** its okay jimin i may have not met you in person but ily 

**soph:** fuck guys it’s gonna take me a while to recover from this 

**soph:** hit me up if any of y’all need to get away 

**soph:** catch u nerds later 

**[soph has left Chat: JJK PROTECTION SQUAD]**

**namu:** well shit 

**namu:** she’s chill i like her 

**namu:** she told me about her Wildt™ gf while she was in the city 

**namu:** kinky ass lesbians wtf 

**gyu:** i’ve never been in a group chat with so much drama 

**gyu:** rama 

**gyu:** dramarama 

**[gyu has left Chat: JJK PROTECTION SQUAD]**

**guk:** what the fuck 

**guk:** someone remind me why i’m dating someone so obsessed with kpop 

**guk:** damn koreaboo 

**asshole:** guk youre korean 

**asshole:** he’s korean 

**asshole:** everyone in this damn chat is korean 

**guk:** you’re a fuckin koreaboo too 

**guk:** square up 

**asshole:** you’re about to get on a plane kid 

**asshole:** its literally three am here 

**asshole:** you’ve been in korea for a week 

**[guk has changed asshole’s name to: koreaboo]**

**koreaboo:** bitch wtf 

\- 

**[Chat: Baby]**

**Baby:** im sorry i couldn’t meet you at the airport 

**Daddy:** its okay baby i know you had class 

**Daddy:** are you back at your apartment? 

**Baby:** yeah i’ve decided to take a break since it’s been so stressful 

**Daddy:** ... 

**Baby:** what do you want 

**Daddy:** you 

**Daddy:** in my fucking bed 

**Daddy:** grinding on top of me 

**Baby:** oh fuck 

**Daddy:** i want your legs wrapped around my waist 

**Baby:** jimin 

**Daddy:** excuse you? 

**Baby:** daddy 

**Daddy:** there we go baby 

**Baby:** daddy i want you 

**Daddy:** god baby 

**Daddy:** i want you to lie back and let me take care of you 

\- 

**[rip phillip has changed their name to tae]**

**tae:** i’m sorry guys 

**tae:** i let this get out of hand because i didn’t check my phone 

**tae:** you guys wouldn’t have freaked out 

**tae:** hobi wouldn’t have lashed out 

**tae:** everything would have been fine 

**tae:** but i fucked up and i’m so so fucking sorry 

**koreaboo:** Kim Taehyung you listen here you little shit 

**koreaboo:** its alright 

**koreaboo:** nobody fucking blames you so don’t you go thinking that we do 

**koreaboo:** something fucking terrible happened in your family 

**koreaboo:** and you had to go deal with that 

**koreaboo:** you had to grieve 

**koreaboo:** don’t you apologize 

**namu:** yoongi is right taehyung and i can’t relieve i’m saying that 

**namu:** how did i just agree with yoongi 

**namu:** but seriously don’t apologize taetae you have nothing to be sorry for 

**namu:** it could have gone a little better yeah 

**namu:** but it’s not your fault 

**namu:** it was never your fault and it wasn’t jimins either 

**jinnie:** i mean 

**jinnie:** it was slightly jimins fault 

**jinnie:** like who the fuck texts while riding a horse 

**jinnie:** but like it was still an accident 

**MiniMin:** look jin u gotta do what u gotta do 

**jinnie:** sure whatever 

**tae:** nah jimin hurt richard with his phone that’s a problem 

**namu:** richard? 

**tae:** yes richard 

**tae:** my grandmother’s horse 

**tae:** i named him when i was twelve 

**tae:** dick for short 

**koreaboo:** tag urself im dick 

**hopi:** tae baby 

**hopi:** i love you 

**hopi:** i fucking love you so much i’m not angry at you 

**hopi:** nobody is 

**[hopi has changed tae’s name to taebaby]**

**taebaby:** i’m crying


	32. take only (what you need)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hullo im back  
> it’s been a while  
> you gave me a bunch of questions on both here and ig  
> so i’m deleting the part where i asked for the questions  
> and posting the questions and answers here
> 
> AS ALWAYS OLEASE LEAVE ME COMMENTS
> 
>  
> 
> kids- mgmt

**HELLO HI THIS IS ANDI AKA NOT A STAN THESE ARE THE ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS THAT YOU (THE READERS) ASKED**

**OKAY THAT IS ALL ON TO THE QUESTIONS**

“for jimin and taehyung: can you teach me how to be cute like you?”

 **jiminie:** well first u gotten get a cute ass partner

 **jiminie:** like shit

 **jiminie:** then u gotta love that piece of shit

 **jiminie:** to the fucken moon and back type shit

 **jiminie:** and you have to be like rlly nice and sweet and love everyone like i love these six and don’t be afraid to show them that you love them

 **jiminie:** i cried on jungkook the other day because i was helping him study for his bio test and i saw some little doodles he did of us and it was Soft™️

 **taetae:** uhhhh

 **taetae:** like jimin said about love you gotta love everyone

 **taetae:** and be yourself???

 **taetae:** idk i cry a lot

 **seokseok:** it’s true he does

 **seokseok:** hes always ready to go out of his way to help people

 **seokseok:** and have fun no matter what

 **seokseok:** everything he does is just adorable because he’s himself

\- -

“i would love to hear more about the daegu boys (especially tae) in high school!” (yes i do know this is about the prequel thing i just want to address it here as well)

 

 **yoons:** oh man

 

 **joonie:** that’s for us

 

 **joonie:** where tf is jeon

 

 **jeon:** fuck you namjoon

 

 **jeon:** aight so high school was q u i t e the experience

 

 **yoons:** we didn’t know each other until tae moved to america for tenth grade

 

 **yoons:** i met him first

 

 **taetae:** it’s why yoongo boi and i are so close

 

 **yoons:** like he was the fuckin tall hot new kid

 

 **yoons:** he barely spoke at all

 

 **yoons:** i met him at the music store i worked at

 

 **yoons:** like a month and a half before he started at school

 

 **taetae:** i was trying to buy an album but i didn’t know enough english so i started talking to myself in korean to like try to jog my memory of the little english i knew and he heard me

 

 **taetae:** came over and spoke in korean

 

 **taetae:** was calling me honorifics and everything

 

 **taetae:** i wanted to c r y

 

 **taetae:** but yeah he helped me and offered to show me around if i needed help

 

 **taetae:** we started hanging out at school

 

 **joonie:** tae and i had psychology together

 

 **joonie:** and i saw him hanging around with yoongi who was basically some punk ass kid that everyone knew of

 

 **jeon:** honestly

 

 **jeon:** i don’t even know where tae came from

 

 **jeon:** like where we met or how

 

 **jeon:** he was just suddenly there acting like we’d been friends for forever

 

 **taetae:** oh man holy shit that’s a story for another time

 

 **jeon:** fuk u kim

 

 **joonie:** bitch

 

 **jinnie:** excuse me

 

 **jeon:** fuk this

 

 **yoons:** but yea

 

 **yoons:** tae brought us together

 

 **yoons:** and we fucked a lot of shit up

 

 **yoons:** he’s my daddy y’all

 

\- -

 

“For Yoongi and Taehyung: how'd he find out your kink and how did u get him into the kink”

 

 **taetae:** it’s yoongis fault i gotta go bye

 

 **yoons:** look

 

 **yoons:** i like looking badass

 

 **yoons:** leather and everything

 

 **yoons:** but i just wanna be soft sometimes and i got tae into it on accident bc he found it

 

 **yoons:** but anyways

 

 **yoons:** it’s not even jimin finding out kinks

 

 **yoons:** it’s me finding out kinks

 

 **yoons:** this boi is nasty

 

 **jiminie:** u know what i can’t deny

 

 **jiminie:** i found out about his shit bc of my groupchat with jeon and hobi who somehow knew

 

 **jeon:** lmao hobi didn’t know shit

 

 **yoons:** jeon u fuckin snake

 

 **jeon:** hiss hiss bitch

 

 **taetae:** honestly idk how hobi found out

 

 **seokseok:** i didn’t until you started at it but who was i to deny it’s hot

 

 **taetae:** F UCK

 

\- -

 

“to all: what do you study?”

 

 **jinnie:** criminal justice

 

 **joonie:** law

 

 **jinnie:** imma marry a lawyer y’all

 

 **yoons:** did you just

 

 **jiminie:** indirectly propose

 

 **joonie:** b o i

 

 **jinnie:** gtgtgtg

 

 **yoons:** music production

 

 **jiminie:** criminal justice as well and a dance minor

 

 **taetae:** nursing

 

 **jeon:** undeclared but leaning towards marine biology

 

 **seokseok:** dance major and literature minor ^^

 

\- -

 

“For Jin: if you had to choose between your looks or Namjoon what would you choose?”

 

 **jiminie:** istg if this boy

 

 **jeon:** chill he basically already shows he intends on marrying him

 

 **joonie:** sweats

 

 **jinnie:** is this even a question

 

 **jinnie:** im beautiful

 

 **jinnie:** always have been

 

 **jinnie:** always will be

 

 **yoons:** where are the australia pictures

 

 **jinnie:** FUCK OFF CUCK

 

 **jinnie:** anyways

 

 **jinnie:** but my beauty doesn’t matter when it comes to namjoon

 

 **jinnie:** god i could be the ugliest person and he would still make me feel beautiful

 

 **joonie:** that’s gay

 

 **jinnie:** i take it back get rid of him

 

 **joonie:** fair enough

 

\- -

 

“q: what's ur writing process as an author? esp for this fic? hoW DO U UPDATE REGULARLY”

 

ahh omg i really wasn’t expecting personal questions this makes me really happy

 

normally when i write, it’s because i got a sudden strike of inspiration like i got a message from someone, or i saw a picture of anything, and i’ll just have a little thought and i’ll save whatever it was and write down the thought and when i have free time i’ll go expand on it

 

when i get started writing it goes either of two ways with me, i have music blasting and i’m jamming along and it can sort of lead a flow to my stories (obviously it doesn’t work so well in chat fics) or i need complete silence and no distractions

 

i don’t really plan before i start going, i’ll write a bunch and then edit and change things before separating it into chapters and posting

 

honestly the only thing i really has planned for Come A Little (Closer) is the ending that never was timing didn’t work out and after the heartbreak of Jonghyun’s passing, i couldn’t bring myself to do it

 

to those of you who didn’t see my authors note on one of the previous chapters; i was going to kill tae off while he and jimin were in korea together then i would have written one last chapter set a couple years later where jin would text the group chat and talk about how they don’t talk anymore and how much he misses everyone and loves them all still yoongi would leave it on read, jimin and hoseok changed their numbers, jungkook has just been mia, and namjoon would still be right there next to jin

 

so yeah i don’t really plan stuff out because i usually end up somewhere far from the original thoughts

 

AND OH MY GOD I DONT UPDATE REGULARLY DOES IT SEEM LIKE I DO I JUST GO FOR WHENEVER I HAVE TIME LIKE MY CLINICAL HOURS HAVE BEEN KICKING MY ASS AND IM MISSING SO MUCH SCHOOL WORK THIS HAS ALL BEEN A MESS

 

\- -

 

“I was just gonna ask, how old are you?”

 

hellooo you left me a really long comment and i love it i just cut it down for here

 

i’m 17 (and yea i only got a few dollars) and i’m a junior in high school(eleventh grade for you non american sweatys) but yea

 

\- -

 

“hello yes hi i got a question and that question is should the prequel be called “you fell (asleep in my car)” or “you (call me baby blue)” because honestly i love them both -andi”

 

yeah ik i added a question from myself for you guys

 

lemme explain a little

the prequel (as stated before) will be about the high school years before “come a little (closer)” and i actually have started it now, and it will contain hoseok, just not really as you’d expect it’s like cute

so the first title- yes it was taken from a twenty one pilots song- will tie in because of car rides that will be prevalent if this title is chosen

now on the other hand, the second title (taken from Cage The Elephant’s song Hypocrite) not only matches the theme of CTE lyrics for the titles, but also fits in because of everyone’s dynamics with each other, as well as other stuff that i also don’t want to spoil

 

b u t either of those titles could be used for another little thing im working on- tae and hoseok’s story outside of the chat

 

honestly i’m leaning towards “you (call me baby blue)” because there’s a lot of things i could use from CTE that would be great for the others and then we could have a total theme so idk

 i kinda want to hear from you guys

 


	33. i wanna waste my life (with you)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please show my other works some love, this will not be my last Bangtan story, and I would greatly appreciate if you give my other works a shot, and anticipate for my future stories. Soon, the start of a high school prequel to this will be released.
> 
> Thank you for loving me and my beloved first fic, and for following me through working out how I wanted to go.
> 
> So, without further ado, I present to you, the very last chapter of Come A Little (Closer). This has been Andi, aka NotAStan, and I am signing off here, for the last time.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> portuguese knife fight — cage the elephant

**[Chat: hobi+tae] <\strong> **

**hopi:** you know

 **hopi:** when i first met you

 **hopi:** i never thought i’d love you this much

 **taetae:** wait no don’t make me cry

 **taetae:** this is so cute and gay

 **taetae:** i love you

-

-

**[Chat: yoonjin 5eva]**

**jin:** hey wanna fuck with jimin

 **yoon:** fuck yeah

 **yoon:** how so

 **jin:** PEA

-

-

**[Chat: JJK PROTECTION SQUAD]**

**MiniMin:** why did jin just come up to me

 **MiniMin:** hug me

 **MiniMin:** and whisper

 **MiniMin:** “it’s alright jimin, Pussy Eaters Anonymous accepts you gay art students

 **MiniMin:** im not even an art student i have a performing arts minor

**[koreaboo changed chat name to: pussy eaters anon]**

**koreaboo:** its alright jimin we accept you

 **MiniMin:** YOONGI YOU ARE A COMPLETELY HOMOSEXUAL MALE

 **koreaboo:** just accept it jimin

 **jinnie:** we know the truth jimin it’s okay

 **MiniMin:** whAT THE FUCK

 **MiniMin:** THIS IS HARASSMENT

 **MiniMin:** CALL THE CAMPUS POLICE

-

-

**[Chat: universe]**

**worldwide handsome:** hey wanna fuck with jimin

 **international playboy:** that’s like asking if i wanna breathe

-

-

**[Chat: pussy eaters anon]**

**MiniMin:** CALL OUT POST FOR JEON JUNGKOOK

 **MiniMin:** WHO KEEPS SENDING ME PICTURES OF NAKED GIRLS

 **MiniMin:** WE ARE ALL HOMOSEXUALS

 **guk:** the gay agenda is ignoring naked girls and only a het would pay attention

 **koreaboo:** i can’t believe i’m dating a fucking het

 **MiniMin:** IM SCREAMING

-

-

**[Chat: d-boys]**

**taegi supporter:** is it fuck w jimin day or smth?

 **mini yoongles:** yea lmao

 **mini yoongles:** boi needs the laughs he’s blaming himself a lot

 **taegi supporter:** shit aight

 **taegi supporter:** we got this shit i’ll text hobi

 **taegi supporter:** you can

 **taegi supporter:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) have some fun with this ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **mini yoongles:** o shit ur right i can

 **taegi supporter:** its lit

-

-

**[Chat: Baby]**

**Daddy:** What do you think you’re doing?

 **Baby:** what do you mean?

 **Daddy:** Don’t play like that.

 **Daddy:** You know exactly what I mean.

 **Baby:** no daddy i don’t

 **Baby:** so what do you mean

 **Daddy:** If you’re going to keep touching my thighs like that we’re going to have a problem.

 **Daddy:** Yoongi.

 **Daddy:** I see you looking at this.

 **Daddy:** Bathroom. Now.

-

-

**[Chat: pussy eaters anon]**

**MiniMin:** taetae?

 **taebaby:** yeah

 **MiniMin:** can you reign in your fucking boyfriend

 **MiniMin:** he keeps tickling the back of my neck and picking me up

 **MiniMin:** like yes i’m short but i literally have more muscle than him

 **hopi:** maybe grow a bit then

 **hopi:** fuckin pussy lips

 **namu:** FUCKIN PUSSY LIPS

 **namu:** IM HOWLIMG

-

-

**[Chat: pussy eaters anon]**

**MiniMin:** i just watched namjoon crawl around on the floor and break his fuckin phone case, quietly curse and look around, and then proceeded to keep crawling up behind me and attempted to jump scare me only to scare himself because he didn’t notice that i was looking at him

 **MiniMin:** he cried

 **namu:** FUCKING SNAKE YIU SAID YOU WOULDNT TELL ANYONE

 **MiniMin:** i lied

-

-

**[Chat: pussy eaters anon]**

**MiniMin:** thank you guys

 **MiniMin:** i love you all so much

 **hopi:** we love you too jiminie

**[MiniMin has changed the chat name to: Family]**

**hopi:** now hurry up taes screeching because you’re the last to show up for movie night

 **hopi:** he says the cuddle pile is incomplete

 **hopi:** jin’s about to steal your spot holding yoongi bc he’s really sleepy and it’s ridiculously cute he’s like a cat and jin is swooping in

 **MiniMin:** BITCH WTF

 **MiniMin:** TELL HIM TO STAY OFF MY MAN IM COMING UP THE STAIRS NOW

-

-

[Chat: Family]

[# Joined: 7]

[Save Chat?]

[Yes] [No]

-

-

-

[Save Chat?]

 **[Yes]** [No]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALSO HI HELLO i didn’t update for over a month and now that i do it’s the fuckin last chapter lmao whoops
> 
> anyways yes this fic is my baby and it’s finally done  
> idk what to do with my life
> 
> do y’all want an astro witch fic???? bc like that’s my newest middle of the night brainchild
> 
> idk feel free to hit me up
> 
> ALSO WE NOW HAVE A QUEER SNAPCHAT GROUP HIT ME UP IF YOU WANT TO JOIN RN ITS THREE LESBIANS AS WELL AS A BISEXUAL ITS LIT
> 
> and it’s also where i got some of this from tbh it’s te original pussy eaters anon but now it’s just a kinkshaming club wheRE I CONSTANTLY CALL OUT @khdlove FOR HER HAND KINK


End file.
